Friday, September 25, 2009

What Fell Friday

It's that time of the week!

Time to update the Matronly tradition of What Fell Friday,wherein she chronicles the journeys of three items that happened to fall upon the floor. The Matron-- prone to tidiness ACCIDENTALLY cleaned the first item, a piece of paper.

But that damn coke can is still in the living room. The Matron even put a cookie next to it, tempting Merrick. Satan's Familiar ate that instead.

How can an empty soda can go unnoticed in the LIVING ROOM for over two weeks?! Someone walks by that can every 20 minutes. And the barrette, below? Secure. Sitting tight.

Please note the dangers this barrette holds. If you step on it, you will be impaled. So her whole family is carefully WALKING AROUND the barrette rather than picking it up.

You would think that if her husband were reading the blog, he would stoop down and sweep these items up? John: are you toying with your dear Matron, knowing all along that she's NOT really having an affair with a pickle salesman and having no intention of moving these items because this means one day of less time of wifely blogging?

Speaking of John, his reaction to Stryker's hugely swollen jaw was to take note: son has hugely swollen jaw. The Matron's reaction was to call the emergency after hour dental clinic, which is where they are now headed.

That damn rapid palate expander has gouged a quarter inch hole in her child's cheek! Off to the ER of all things dentistry before ever convenient round of rehearsal driving that ends at ten o:clock -- just in time to hop in bed because she teaches a THREE HOUR writing class at nine in the morning.

Heaven help her.


smalltownme said...

Someone took out his dad's allen wrenches to adjust his guitar -- they've been sitting on the end table for 4 days...I finally had to say something. The silent treatment is hard!

Michele R said...

Is someone not curling their hair for a few weeks? Because that barrette looks just like the thing that fits onto a roller to keep it in place when you use hot rollers.
I would love to see if you could tie a $10 bill onto the can and then see if someone reaches for it. And film it.

Suburban Correspondent said...

I begged Larry to pick up a dead stinkbug that's been lying on the kitchen floor by the ant traps for at least a week (sorry, I won't touch it). "What stinkbug?" he asks. How can you not notice something dead?

Minnesota Matron said...

Money. I will put money by the coke can next. Poor Stryker had to have his rapid palate expander disassembled by a new dentist so the rough edges could be SAWED OFF. Yes. The dentist used his own power tools to repair, gave Stryker pain meds and said call the orthodontist on Monday. Poor guy but I'd feel sorrier for him if he picked up the coke can OR stepped on that damn barrette. I see I am SO not alone here.

Anonymous said...

heh...Hay asked me to stop by...seems we might have a few things in common, says she...

methinks this is a distinct possibility.


Anonymous said...

hahaha...thanks for the comment and the visit! lol...going to follow you now. its more fun when its someone else's consternations...hee

thefirecat said...

Mary, if he hadn't divorced me and moved out three years ago, my ex-husband's socks would STILL be under the coffee table.

The money is a VERY good idea. Perhaps with a note stuck to the back explaining that they are now part of an experiment on premature blindness.