Sunday, September 21, 2014

Nothing Says "Hey I'm 50" Like . . .

A certain medical procedure, which the Matron will undergo tomorrow at 10:00 am.    Please let her never see another cup of clear broth or green JELL-O again.    But when she sees her husband, post-procedure, he better be bearing a big cup of coffee and fully loaded bagel.

Other indicators of a certain age?

Every night the Matron consumes the following elixer:  magnesium, tart cherry, melatonin (timed release).    Because she is no longer capable of sleep without assistance and that 3/4 half a bottle of wine every night just wasn't working out that well for her.

Today's New York Times Magazine features Gary Hart's tryst with Donna Rice and all that fell out afterward and it seems like just yesterday when that all happened.   Plus she even knew who Gary Hart was.

Although the Matron has required eye correction since she was a very Wee Miss, she is now swapping out her contacts for glasses at night.   Because her eyes are just, well, tired, by about 6 pm.  Which is when 'night' begins for her now.

This summer, she attended weddings of two young women she'd known since they were Wee Misses themselves.  She has friends who are (gasp) grandmothers).   More than one friend and the grandchildren aren't necessarily tiny, either.

"Glory be" and "Heavens to mercy" are phrases that she actually uses -- with passion and commitment.

Please pour her another stiff cup of tea while she unlaces the orthopedic shoes. . . .