Friday, November 21, 2014

More! Says The Matron

The Matron was the beneficiary of a small but beautiful blessing when she stumbled across this review on Goodreads yesterday! 

"I went into the book with few expectations, and emerged with the feeling that whatever else Mary writes, I'll read it. It took a couple of chapters for me to fall in love, but I did without a doubt. My pace picked up, my sleep was forfeited, and I raced to the finish. The magic was beautifully woven in, and Delphi's attitude towards it absolutely believable. Holly's character is beautifully drawn, and Leilani's delightfully complex. Loved it."

Everyone likes a good review, but the Matron felt undue pleasure over this one.  Joy!  Goosebumps!  Incredulation!   She let these sensations simmer a bit and then examined them. 
It turns that she does not quite believe she is the real deal after all.   
You know the imposter issue, where you sorta feel like you're faking it?

The Matron felt that way (at first) about being a mother.  That sense of pretending or being half-hearted mama persisted until her third child was born.   Indeed, that is part of the reason the Matron felt the need to have one more child-- to prove (to herself and everyone else) that she was doing the deed, really rocking this mama thing.  Look at me!  I have three!  
Somehow, a boat load of children finally made her a mother.  
The fact that she required external validation was not lost on the Matron.  The fact that she laboriously orchestrated (really? a pregnancy?) said external validation was also duly noted.  She is still attending to that product, too. He is 11. 
So yesterday's glowing review -- by a complete stranger, nonetheless -- was that outsider, looking in, to say:  "yes indeed.  The real deal."
And this real deal writer also feels the sweet satisfaction of someone enjoying her work!   How lovely to think of these characters she created, keeping a reader up at night.   
Way to go, Leilani!
Way to go, Matron!   Well done, if she does say so herself this time.  
But of course . . . wouldn't one more book tighten the whole thing up?  Just like Merrick did for the mama problem?
So the psyche spins . . . 

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Yes. Writing about Weather Again

Dear God-Buddha-Oprah-Allah-Universe,
The Matron thinks there has been a misunderstanding. You know, this January weather before Thanksgiving? Ice-packed roads, single-digit temperatures, biting wind, feet of blowing snow. Ring a celestial bell? It occurs to me that You - in all Your wisdom, of course, but being also VERY busy running the world -- may have mistaken the Matron for a trooper. And thus sent January in November? 
God-Buddha-Oprah-Allah-Universe:  it is official.  The Matron is not a trooper.  She is not rising to the challenge of ice and chill.  She is not gamely moving forward.She is not embracing winter's edge, with my wool cap pulled tight and attitude, chipper. Nope.  The Matron would be the woman wrapped in numerous layers of clothing with a space heater by her side, shaking her fist at the sky (not at You, of course. The sky) and saying: "Too soon! Too soon!"
She hopes this clears up any misunderstanding and sheds light on her actual position here in the world -- not a trooper. Cold. A wee bit bitter, actually.
Thank You for rectifying this situation. She looks foward to the thrill of throwing open the shades tomorrow morning and seeing November's 40 degree return.