Friday, February 6, 2009

Humanity is Upon Us

Today, the Matron took Elie Wiesel's memoir about the Holocaust, Night, as reading material for her time on the treadmill at the gym. Yes, she's wacky that way.

This was a mistake, as it is difficult to weep, rail, and gasp while running. But she did.

And she finished the book in 45 minutes that refueled her desire to serve the greater good and set self aside, always. Sobering and astounding.

The impact of the book was so powerful, perhaps she'll take a volume of Freud, tomorrow, and eradicate her hypochondria.

How She Spends Her Time

Here sits Satan's Familiar, cloven paw and all.

He woke up the Matron at 6 am as he made his way out from under the covers, where he conveniently sleeps.

Later, after eating a bowl of Captain Crunch (before you ask - not only is he capable of getting on the kitchen table it is his daily routine) the evil one deemed the 30 degree day tepid enough for a romp around the back yard.

Now, the Matron didn't get all hopeful that he would poop out there instead of in Scarlett's bedroom. But neither did she consider that the Siren Song was in play --the sweet smell of somebody else's garbage.

The Matron has mentioned that her office is sits high in the house--a cozy little porch off of the master bedroom. See that window? Perfect view of the backyard and alley.

So she was able to clearly see that damn dog CLIMB THE WIRE FENCE and happily trot across the alley so he could begin the process of knocking over a garbage can. Now, because the Matron's house is high on a hill and there is all that clever-anti-dog wire fencing to navigate, it is impossible for the Matron to simply walk out the door and stop the creature.

No, she must put on coat and boots, go out the front door, down the block and around the alley, giving him plenty of time to knock over the can and get in a good meal.

And when he saw her coming? He turned around and ran.

Oh well. She tried, didn't she?

(he finally came home - sigh)

Thursday, February 5, 2009

And Worlds Apart . . .

A few weeks ago, the Matron spent some time with an acquaintance wearing a burqa. Much to her discomfort, the Matron could not get beyond the veil. She wanted not only to respect the woman's right to the burqa -- no, the Matron wanted to embrace that right!
Remember when the Matron wagged her finger at the nation, noting the deep-seated and blithely ignored prejudice we still hold to Muslims? So she just does not want to repeat that tired practice. But try as she might, she could not embrace the burqa.
Whenever she sees a woman wearing one, she wonders about that woman's story and how she feels in her own skin. Not that the Matron feels good in hers, necessarily, either. It just seems so different.
Today, she stumbled across this in Salon.
Of course, the side Take Away from this article is: OMIGOD the book's editor is an 18 year old having a gap year before she goes to Yale AND she's giving away all the proceeds from this book!!!!!
The Matron is off the floor and the weeping is over, although her skin tone remains a little lime green. Later, she will remember to count her own blessings but right now she's still wearing that comparison stain like a battle wound.
Anyway, the Matron's initial reaction to the piece in Salon was a little like, "Eowie. Ugh." She wasn't quite sure she wanted Detail, Such Extent.
And she was reminded of her battle with the burqa and was staggered by the distance between these two political and cultural landscapes--one where women let it all hang out and the other where that's not so easy.
Here's a nice Arab voice on the burqa, reminding the rest of us that facts and knowledge go best with heated opinion.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Actual Conversation -- with Husband

While John was dealing with dinner on the home front and the Matron, driving and on the cell phone . . .

John: "I'm making Scarlett a carrot salad, yogurt and scrambled eggs for dinner before her show."

Matron: "Perfect! All that child has eaten in the past three days has been carbohydrates, so it's good to steer clear of simple carbs for once."

John: "Oh. Then I won't give her the carrot salad."

Matron: "What! Carrots are a vegetable. They might be high on the glycemic scale, but carrots are still a vegetable. She should absolutely have carrots."

John: "Oh. Then I won't give her the eggs."

Matron: "Eggs are a protein."

John: "Really? Are you sure?"

Matron: "Positive."

John: "Then out goes the yogurt, right?"

Matron: "Why? Yogurt is a dairy product."

John: "What should I not give her then?"

Matron: "I can't take this any longer. I have to hang up now."

And she did.

Yo, Students!

The Matron has decided that this will be required viewing in her basic writing courses.