Friday, October 10, 2014

Ear Wax or Bigger Problems? So Wondereth the Matron.

Merrick:   "Can we buy some Create Juice?"

Matron:  "Create Juice?  What do you mean?  There is no such thing."

Merrick:  "Yes there is and my Math teacher said she's out of it. Hers ran out.   She seemed super crabby about that so I thought it would cheer her up if I brought some on Monday."

Here is where the Matron must sit down and put her head on the table and bang it ever so slightly, just a few times.

Bang.  Bang.  Bang.

At least he's helpful.   The rest demands emergency attention.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

How Global Pandemic Plays Out In Her House

Merrick: "If Ebola comes to St. Paul, would I stay home from school?"
Matron:   "Absolutely -- but why do you ask?"     And in that "absolutely" please read her total and complete, forever irrational panic.  This is a woman who bought 5000 Q-Tips before Y2K.
Merrick: "No school and stuff. We could be on TV. I'm thinking maybe Ebola isn't all that bad."
Her scholar and reality tv star, scheming.   Forget global demise and despair.   No school and cameras.