Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Second Opinion!

Remember the deft professional that was the Matron's Ob-Gyn? Sorry for linkage, but background is the only road to appreciation of post.

She got that second opinion. But before we go into the logistics surrounding the idiosyncratic bladder and its hysterical tendencies (much like its owner), let's first pause and consider why in the world anyone would want to BE an urologist?

If she had one centimeter of unexplored physical territory left before today's urology appointment, well, Conquest and Cartography did their business. My, my. The Matron now knows precisely how her uterus jiggles over bladder when she stands up and sits down. And more.

But this physician?

Matron: "So do I have a hysterectomy or the mesh hammock under the bladder or both or what?"

Doctor: "Surgery?"

Matron: "Well, the Ob-Gyn seems to think I'm headed right to the operating room.

Doctor: "That seems silly, don't you think?"

Matron: "Why, yes!"

Doctor: "I'm all about the path of least intervention."

Matron: "Really? So civilized!"

Doctor: "And I don't think you need surgery. Your main problem is that you feel the need to go all the time, right? No leakage just urge?"

Matron: "Right."

Doctor: "Physical therapy. Let's start with physical therapy."

Matron: "Excuse me? You can undergo physical therapy for the bladder?"

Doctor: "You bet. Same way toddlers learn continence. You feel and manage a muscle. You can learn to retrain that muscle. Turn it off."

Matron: "Please help me learn to live with this. I am going to see a physical therapist for my bladder."

Doctor: "You bet."

Friends, in a down economy? Buy stock in Depends. The Matron is living up to her name.


smalltownme said...

Dr. Youngster did seem too eager to cut.

So will you be kegeling till the cows come home?

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

Will the Matron pass on the lessons for those of us who also feel the urge without leak? Thanks.

Minnesota Matron said...

She shall be a study in group therapy. For better or worse (remember that Salon article!).

Anonymous said...

Heh. Been there, done that, got the t-shir--, er, the little vaginal weights that the PT gives you insert and carry around all day. Among other delightful exercises, including some weird electrical thing. I truly hope they work better for you. The thing that really did make a difference was change in diet. Simply eliminate coffee, tea, fruit juice, cantaloupe, strawberries, and all carbonated beverages -- in other words, everything fun -- and urge-to-go just leaves.

Heather said...

Don't they have something like Flomax for women?

At least you don't need to get cut!

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

I'm a big fan of PT over the knife, but this intrigues me.

We'll be waiting to hear what that session is like...

Becky said...

Oh my. I know this isn't an exact comparison, but it reminds me of the episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte's OBgyn tells her to start taking antidepressants. "But I'm not depressed," she says. "Your vagina is," he explains.

MJ said...

Your advice in buying stock in Depends is a wise one: boomers will soon be a dime a senior! Perhaps get an evening job as a financial planner?

La Framéricaine said...


Thank you for writing about this both times. I have to go for a cystoscopy on Monday at 11:15am because of an idiosyncratic bladder. I have stabby pains and hematuria so they have to eliminate bladder cancer before we can move on to exercising with vagina weights... Did I just write that?

Oh, and the urologist told me not to quit my job--in order to move to France--so that I could avoid "large out-of-pocket expenses." Duh...

Lovely blog, Minnesota Matron.

BTW, I call my 72 year old French husband, petite taupe which means "little mole." Yep. That's right. The very one you are housing in your basement. Try not to be too hard on that little family. They are so dear.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

kmkat's description of the PT is . . . interesting. I can't wait to her more.

thefirecat said...

I'm a sympathetic pee-er. Just reading these makes me have to go.

Daisy said...

Kegels. Remember those from Lamaze? You'll be an expert.