Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Run, Jane, Run

No, you are not being held up or stalked. You are not victim of, or witness to, nuclear fallout.

This is the Matron -- Addict -- on a frigid Minnesota run. Note black of night? That would be 6:30 am.

If you run when the wind chill is below zero and regular old air temp hovering at that number (or below), you wear:

  • purple and red polyester leggings followed by
  • high-end REI ski pants, followed by
  • one more pair of high-end REI ski pants and on the top
  • poly t-shirt followed by
  • one more poly t-shirt and then
  • long sleeved cotten Columbia ski shirt
  • and REI (meaning really warm and insulated) long-sleeved shirt and then you put on
  • thermal vest and next it's the
  • jacket and then you find the walkman and
  • make sure it's on Public Radio of any Kind and once it's on, shove
  • the fleece neck warmer over that (and your ears) and put on one small pink hat followed by
  • the larger green one and finally, take
  • the thermal socks and tennis shoes from the radiator where they've been warming
  • overnight and put those on.

If there's ice, you strap rubber thingies with ice picks onto the bottom of your running shoes.

You will never fall, except the one time your entire family is standing at the front door to watch.

You will have no interest in marathons or 5 K's or (gasp) anything remotely communal regarding this ritual.

But you arrive home after the four miles--alone, uninterrupted, invincible, perhaps certifiable--spent and satisfied, able to smile in the midst of Need and Chaos that awaits.


Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

I was feeling proud, smug even, of my walks when it was icy last winter until I read this.

I stand amazed.

Fairlie - www.feetonforeignlands.com said...

Oh my. Who needs a run after all the effort of getting into those layers?

If exercise here involved that much protective clothing, I suspect I just wouldn't bother. :)

Beth said...

At that hour of the morning, I would be exhausted just putting all those layers of clothes on!
Kudos to you!

Anonymous said...

You are the bravest woman I know this morning. Last night I heard 2 women who run together religiously (they train--I admire them), cancel their morning run due to cold. And to go to the trouble to DO THAT knowing you'll return to a zoo. Good woman.

Jodi Anderson said...


Karen said...

I wanted to stop by and let you know I've given you a "You Make My Day" award over on my own blog. Thanks so much for the great writing!

Angie said...

That's exactly how I look when I venture out to do chores!! All you can see is my eyes......the only way to be outside during this crap.

You ran 4 miles in this weather?? Jesus, you are dedicated and slightly insane.

Anonymous said...


Yolanda said...

All that gear is amazing . I sometimes wish I had that much when I walk the dogs.

Minnesota Matron said...

Yes, I know it's crazy!! And thanks, Karen! My first award and I love attention. When I have a moment I'll put it front and center. . . .

Peggy Sez.. said...

Jinkeys! (brought to you by Velma)
Mush on M. Matron!

Anonymous said...

Hello Minnesota Matron. I too live in Minnesota, and my idea of dressing warmly that early in the morning is slippers to go to the kitchen in my jammies to turn on the coffee. No way in this weather am I leaving my house.