Actual Conversation

Thanks to Scarlett, whose driving demands take the Matron out 24/7 (if you think she's kidding, feel free to head out tonight at 10 pm to retrieve the child), the Matron found herself at Byerly's, ( a local upscale grocery store) this morning, buying brownie mix so that Scarlett could supply an endless stream of sugar to her fellow actors during tech week.

Tech week, for those who don't speak theater, is the endurance test of 'running' a show over and over again, getting the lights, sound, movement, etc., -- in short, everything -- absolutely right. Yesterday, Scarlett was at the theater for 12 hours (with a break) and today it's 8. This is typical.

Not the point of the post but a digression away from . . . .

The Matron is incapable of walking into a grocery store, moving through aisles and emerging with just ONE ITEM. Which is why she went in for brownie mix and came out with enough bags that she received assistance from the lovely young woman who packed her groceries. Because this is an upscale store, the lovely young woman put the groceries in a cart and wheeled them out for the Matron.

Lovely.

An extremely pretty young woman.

She had perky bangs. Adorable, nearly invisible glasses. Hair swept back, just so.


The Matron swears on all things progressive, this young woman looked JUST LIKE a teenage Sarah Palin!!

So much so that the Matron rolled around this resemblance around in her mind for a few minutes before saying anything, wondering if the almost-child (about 17? 18?) ) heard this observation 200 times a day.

Far from it.

Matron: "Uh, I'm sure you get this all the time, but I just have to say it! Do people tell you all the time that you look exactly like a young Sarah Palin? You really do look just like a young Sarah Palin."

Lovely Young Woman pushing groceries: "Uh, who's that?"

Goosebumps

Although the Matron does not routinely attend caucuses, her fair foot has crossed those doors upon occasion. She is accustomed to driving right up to the building and being feted. Caucus nights tended toward the leisurely and loose end, a time to catch up with the other four neighbors and eat a cookie.

Last night, the Matron thought she made a serious Driving Error. Her car could not move. Headlights littered the horizon. There was honking and fervor. She of delicate constitution was forced to park her car six blocks away and walk to the high school.

Inside, no one heralded the Matron's arrival because a tremendous throng of people simply sucked her up. Slurp. One of a crowd. Long lines prevailed--and those were just to find out to which room one was supposed to struggle.

The Matron found her room, duly cast her vote and smiled all the way home --where she was met with yet one more sweet treat: Stryker, at the laptop, aflutter over caucus results.

Finally, she was feted! And by her own 11-year old son, who probed for Detail of all things political and adult. As the results rolled in on TV, Stryker earned a significant trophy on the "Matronly Wall of Good Will You've Just Banked Against the Next Screw-Up" by watching Barack Obama's South Carolina caucus speech on YouTube--all 16 minutes.

Then, this morning the Matron learned that her caucus site--a riotous place--was not unique in her fair state. The record for Democratic caucus attendance sat way back when in the sixties and at 58,000. Predictions had tip-toed toward 100,000 for last night.

Readers, over 200,000 hot-blooded, politically-aroused Democratic Minnesotans went a-caucusing last night. Our friends on the other team didn't do so shabby, either. Republicans came out in double the predicted numbers, counting in around 60,000.

The Matron, who enjoys political fervor very much and likes to think that she is always fighting the good fight, is proud of her Minnesotan ilk this day -- on both teams. She smiles, still.

The Economist In Me Is Puzzled

Okay -- there is no economist in me. When John and I first met, I routinely wept over the state of my checkbook: always a deficit!

But my bank statements kept coming back with a hefty amount in my account, at least hefty for my 29-year old graduate student self. The bank said I had about $3000. My checkbook told me I carried a deficit of $30.

Every time a statement arrived in the mail, anxiety rendered me helpless. I cried and fretted. Really, I was broke. Something was terribly wrong. I would get into trouble, pretending to have all that money. Make that evil bank go away!

John queried me on my accounting methods.

Me: "Well, if I write a check for $4.80, I record that check as $6.00 in my checkbook, just in case. And if I get a paycheck for something like $327., I record a deposit of $300 or maybe $290. Just in case."

I had been doing this for three years.

John had no adequate verbal response to that wickedly clever accounting system.

Instead, he sat down with three year's worth of bank statements and figured out -- surprise!! -- the bank was right and I was wrong. I was flush. Liquid with cash.

So take the following with a tremendous grain of salt. But I am puzzled by the economic 'stimulus' plan brought to us by both sides of the political aisle. Sure, there are tax credits and snip and small ticket items hidden therein.

But the main stage appears to be the "Rebate." Uh, rebate for what, exactly. What coupon did I clip and mail?

Taxes seem like such a black hole. And we're, what? Oh, only 9.13 trillion dollars in debt as a nation. Whew. Things could be worse! We could have an amoral bottomless money pit draining nearly $275 million dollars a day -- oh, wait! We do. What with the Presidential candidates shifting their focus to the economy, I forgot about that darn war. Maybe the "Rebate" is on the $4,100 of my tax dollars that went to fund the war.

And the trillion dollar question is: is $600 for a single person a transformative number? Or maybe just one extra bill paid or one crisis averted. Surely, there are more problems down that road that a small amount of cash can't fix.

Our family will get about $2100 -- hey, that's $300 bucks for each baby I pushed out! I knew there would be payout.

Well, Nancy Pelosi and dear old George-- I'd rather have health insurance.

The $2100 we'll get doesn't even begin to touch our $5600. deductible or make much more than a nick in the $580 monthly premiums.

I heard one commentator say that the governmental powers that be hope we all head straight to a mall when those rebate checks come. Jump start that economy: spend, spend, spend.

But wasn't that the problem in the first place, on a national and individual level?

The entire situation seems uniquely American and irrationally exuberant, to boot.