Friday, November 21, 2014

More! Says The Matron

The Matron was the beneficiary of a small but beautiful blessing when she stumbled across this review on Goodreads yesterday! 

"I went into the book with few expectations, and emerged with the feeling that whatever else Mary writes, I'll read it. It took a couple of chapters for me to fall in love, but I did without a doubt. My pace picked up, my sleep was forfeited, and I raced to the finish. The magic was beautifully woven in, and Delphi's attitude towards it absolutely believable. Holly's character is beautifully drawn, and Leilani's delightfully complex. Loved it."

Everyone likes a good review, but the Matron felt undue pleasure over this one.  Joy!  Goosebumps!  Incredulation!   She let these sensations simmer a bit and then examined them. 
It turns that she does not quite believe she is the real deal after all.   
You know the imposter issue, where you sorta feel like you're faking it?

The Matron felt that way (at first) about being a mother.  That sense of pretending or being half-hearted mama persisted until her third child was born.   Indeed, that is part of the reason the Matron felt the need to have one more child-- to prove (to herself and everyone else) that she was doing the deed, really rocking this mama thing.  Look at me!  I have three!  
Somehow, a boat load of children finally made her a mother.  
The fact that she required external validation was not lost on the Matron.  The fact that she laboriously orchestrated (really? a pregnancy?) said external validation was also duly noted.  She is still attending to that product, too. He is 11. 
So yesterday's glowing review -- by a complete stranger, nonetheless -- was that outsider, looking in, to say:  "yes indeed.  The real deal."
And this real deal writer also feels the sweet satisfaction of someone enjoying her work!   How lovely to think of these characters she created, keeping a reader up at night.   
Way to go, Leilani!
Way to go, Matron!   Well done, if she does say so herself this time.  
But of course . . . wouldn't one more book tighten the whole thing up?  Just like Merrick did for the mama problem?
So the psyche spins . . . 


Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...


Becky Brown said...

I totally get this. I still feel like my parents could show up at my door at any time, announcing that I'm in HUGE trouble for pretending to be an adult.

But as a writer? Oh, it's even worse. The doubt! Oh, the doubt.

Wallow in that wonderful review. You earned it. Like the velveteen rabbit, you are real.

smalltownme said...

One more book! One more book!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...