Sunday, October 25, 2009

Actual Conversation

Last night, the Matron was snuggled into her LEAST favorite seat in the van: front passenger. John was driving and the whole family headed toward that Minnesota version of fine dining, the potluck party at a friend's house.

The Matron, who has just a few tiny issues regarding CONTROL, could not help but notice that her husband's foot felt, well, a tad bit heavy on that gas pedal. Indeed, she could not help but notice that the vehicle transporting her very fine self was going well over the speed limit.

Matron: "John! Did you know the speed limit is 30 here! You're going fast and there's a police car up ahead!"

Immediate decrease in speed and increase in anxiety.

John: "Where? Where? I don't see any police car?"

Matron: "Well, there isn't one."

John: "You lied! You just lied to me!"

Matron: "I did not!!"

John: "You lied!"

Matron: "Actually, no."

John: "Then what do you call what you just did?"

Matron: "I simply added a sentence for dramatic emphasis. That's not lying."

Scarlett: "I'm soaking this all in, mother."


Buckarooandco said...

Pissed off taxi mom going 40 in a 30 MPH zone.

Cop on road with speed gun.

Cop behind pissed off mom with lights on.

Even MORE pissed off mom with $225 speeding ticket.

Irritated pissed off mom going to court to see if she can get the cost reduced.

Happy mom to be not paying $255.

Unappy mom who pays $100, instead.

Great program that says if I have no 'same or similar' will not be on my driving record so my insurance will not go up: Priceless.

Suburban Correspondent said...

My least favorite seat, must take up knitting. You can't watch the road and dream up catastrophic scenarios if you are busy counting stitches.

MJ said...

What a week you've had! Little pitchers have big ears in Minnesota too?!

Karen said...

Oooh, I have to remember that one.

Anonymous said...

Technically, there ought to be a police car up ahead somewhere. Just a question of how far.

Daisy said...

dramatic emphasis? snicker.