Thursday, September 18, 2008

You Can Take the Girl Out of the Trailer, But . . . .

See this nice room?

The Matron has a penchant for order. She has learned to appreciate wood over paint, glass before the plastic cup. You do know that she suffers from a case of Incurable Brain Suck?

See this room? Disaster. A mess.

Her office looks like the Ivy League. And she even has an office!

Her house has decorative moments, like this one:

But friends, she was not born to beauty. She is of the low-brow breed. Her bloodline? Let's just say there's no blue in those veins. Lately, her blog has been full of posts in which the Matron does the right thing, has the light touch --all that. Appears to have arrived in the middle class from day one.

Here's the real scene.

That little junkyard would be the tool shed turned playhouse in the Matron's backyard. Please do note all that garbage - which has been there since July. Really. This is the decorative outdoor moment:

You see, the Matron has ignored the Outdoors, all summer. Why bother? Pretty soon her world will be about 40 degrees below zero and ice. Plus, she grew up in a household where a dish towel makes one mean tablecloth and people put in their teeth every morning.

Looooooow brow roots. Which are blooming in the Matron's backyard. Here's her fire pit!!

Yes, fire pit (okay, cook stone stove the neighbor didn't want anymore) and rusting comfy chair. Then there's the classy weather vane:

So whenever the Matron sounds, well, 'together,' remember she grew up with a mother who once said this: "Mary? This organic wool handmade sweater you gave me for Christmas is pretty, but I only wear polyester."

The Matron's going to pop out her teeth, chew some tobacco by the fire pit and head to the mattress.


Suburban Correspondent said...

Your slate patio! That's what my husband is attempting in our backyard! For months! And he's alienating all the neighbors! Because it looks like a junky construction site!

Irene said...

Just get yourself a dumpster and that back yard will look good in one hour. You just have a lot of old junk sitting around that needs to be gotten rid off. Your kids could do it if you rent the dumpster.

Becky Brown said...

I only wear polyester?

We are probably cousins. I'm assuming Velveeta plays a role in all holiday dinners as well. This says "home" to me.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking of making t-shirts up that say, "White Trash Unite" - so far blackbird and I are members. Shall I send the application for membership to you, too?!?


Heather of the EO said...

Is it weird that I really like the backyard? If I posted pictures of mine, you'd see why I feel so at home when looking at yours.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

But did they feed you SPAM purchased with food stamps and somehow manage to buy enough cigarettes to chain smoke?

Heh. This could be fun.

Shall we have ourselves a lowbrow duel?

Unknown said...

I recently watched a History channel special on Hillbillies and realized that I was actually viewing my own family history. So much was explained...

Daisy said...

I just love the weather vane!! I hear you on the outdoors. I love it, but only so many months have temps above freezing in my 'hood, too.

Becky said...

This is a great reality check. I should blog, with pics, about all the laundry sitting in my bedroom. But then I'd have to go in there with my eyes open.