Saturday, July 5, 2008

The Matron Hates Nature

Sure, she likes clean air and all, but make hers urban. Green space? That would be the tidy city park, surrounded by asphalt and chaos.

Hike? Where ARE we going and what's the point? Okay, she knows it's all about the journey, but she is a destination and purpose kinda gal.

Deer? Seen one. Been there, done that.

So the Matron and thsi bad attitude have been transported to Lake Itasca national park. Thank GOD there is wireless internet and an espresso machine in the University of Minnesota-owned house in which she is staying. She loves her hosts!

But just cannot force the Matronly toe into the leech-infested swimming hole. Or pretend the 'Bear' signs don't make her knees go weak.

Bring on those cement structures! Forty-eight hours and she's back in the city again, sucking in all those bus fumes. And she'll be happy.

21 comments:

Jennifer S said...

I hope you laugh when I tell you that while I subscribe to Outside Magazine, I don't really go outside all that much.

But I'm hellbent on making my kids go out there.

Allmycke said...

I tried to make my son love the outdoors as much as I do by exposing him to different outdoors activities. He now lives in Greater Vancouver, goes blading in Stanley Park and drives his car right up to the spot where they put up the tent on a once-a-year camping trip.
There's the old saying about how "different the cookie crumbles" to which I'd like to add - Whatever makes you happy is right for you!
I flat out refuse to go jogging or work out in a gym but others can do that to their hearts content.
Just don't laugh at me when you see me skijoring behind a badly disciplined dog...

Anonymous said...

Right on, my city Sister. When I'm famous, and your famous, shall we get apartments in NY? :-)

Keep safe from those bears. I think you are supposed to stand still...or maybe run....don't look at them...or maybe that is stare them out...golly, I'm glad NZ is bearless!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Late Itasca--headwaters of the Mississippi river. I enjoyed my time in those waters with nary a leech bite to show for it!

I love the outdoors but I do like to have a wee drive before I get there.

Anonymous said...

Just the thought of that swimming hole, filled with who-knows-what, makes me shudder. Give me a swimming pool with crystal-clear water any day.

Mrs. G. said...

Stay away from bears-that is an order.

Mary Alice said...

Everyone has there own comfort zone. It sounds beautiful. I would be all over the hiking and swimming, but I wouldn't mind coming back for an espresso. I'm a both worlds kind of gal myself.

Anonymous said...

You must walk across the headwaters. If only to brag to others from far away who think of our Mississippi as the BIG MUDDY by saying, "Oh that lil' ole' thang? I waded across it." You go Paulette Bunyon.

Louise said...

You know? Leeches? Just doesn't seem to me like anything is worth leeches.

stephanie said...

You & I need to own and wear the Anne Taintor button - "I LOVE NOT CAMPING." Blech.

You have no idea how much happier I felt when you said "wireless internet and an espresso machine."

Enjoy?

Angie said...

I can relate to the 'swimming hole' feeling - I've seen way too many movies where something comes up from the muck and grabs your leg and drags you to your death and I'm trying real hard not to pass that on to the kids.

Hope you have a great time.

Jocelyn said...

Don't be afraid. Walk towards the light. Trails are good. Hiking is nirvana.

I type this to you as a kindred spirit, as I was raised in a household headed by a choral conductor and the executive director of the local symphony. We. did. not. go. outside. Even more: I first read GONE WITH THE WIND at age 10 and read it 25 times that year, so we have much in common, especially our ability to quote the first line of that great novel.

At any rate, I've become some kind of almost-nature-ish-girl (but I still love me a good pair of shoes). No matter where you are, wireless is key, of course.

Nora said...

Seriously. The only thing that makes it all worth while is all the junk food (canned ravioli? yummmmmmmmm)

Fairlie - www.feetonforeignlands.com said...

I'm with you on this one. I think wilderness is best experienced through the Discovery channel.

Anonymous said...

As I have repeatedly told my daughter, "Nature is not my friend." It has not scarred/inlfuenced that country girl who still loves going to the creek and wading in the shallows or working on her organic garden. Hurray for her (and for me as I stay inside reading).
Chris in NY

Keetha said...

I know what you mean! I have an upcoming beach trip and I can so envision me and my stack of books, alone in the nice air-conditioned condo, while everyone else is on the beach, with the sand and the piercing sun and the jellyfish.

Anonymous said...

Just hunker down and pray for the next bus outta there, sweetie!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Amen, Matron. Amen.

Julie said...

I, too, hate nature. Give me air conditioning, indoor plumbing, fluffy pillows. You and I would be great friends in real life! :)

Anonymous said...

You may be one of the funniest people on the planet. I laughed out loud - I mean loud - while I was supposed to be preparing sales tax returns for my company. I "lvoe" your blog. xoxo

Kelly said...

I like nature, a lot, but I'd be lying if I said that a 'watch out for big, hungry bears' sign didn't make my knees weak as well.