Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Matronly Milieu

Searching for fresh faces, the Coen brothers have been seen scouting in local synagogues. They're holding an open call for three roles in a movie to be shot (possibly) in Minnesota: an eighty year old man; a sixteen year old girl who wants a nose job; and a 12 year old boy preparing for his Bar Mitzvah.

Of course, the Matron had this conversation:

Mother: "Are you taking Scarlett to the open audition for the Coen brothers movie?"

Matron: "No. Why would I?"

Mother: "Well, maybe they'll see her and create some kind of role for her. Those things happen. I'm going to take XX."

Matron: "Isn't XX nine years old?"

Mother: "Can't hurt! Maybe I'll call and see if they can create something for him. Your older son is eleven. What about him?"

Matron: "He doesn't look the least little bit Jewish. The nose job thing makes me think they're going for a certain look?"

Mother: "Maybe they can make some part for him. I think I'm just going to call about XX. There must be somebody I can call."

And then she had this conversation with someone else:

Mother: "I'm going to take WW to the Coen brothers audition."

Matron: "Oh. Isn't WW ten? And female? Are they looking for that now?"

Mother: "No. But once they see her, maybe they'll create a role. You know, once they see her."

The Matron doesn't think that the Coen brothers are going to rewrite their script to include all of the child actors who show up and waste everyone else's time by creating a much, much longer line and more complex situation.

People, people.

12 comments:

Heather said...

That's funny.

Jennifer S said...

So they probably won't cast me as the 80 year old man, either, will they? Darn.

Funny stuff. That mother needs some Valium.

Allmycke said...

No, she needs her head examined. With that kind of attitude, she'd still be able to operate on Valium.

Jocelyn said...

So we can summarize: Mother is determined, imaginative, and rarely daunted.

Plus a smidge of loony.

Anonymous said...

I don't actually know who the Coen brothers are, but that cracks me up. Insane.

Suburban Correspondent said...

Get her a cane, teach her to limp, and let her try out for the 80-year-old man. It would be great for her career. Keep her from being typecast, you know...

Nora said...

Hee hee. The thought of being discovered in such a way is pretty tantalizing, though...

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

It's good that there's someone in the town with some perspective.

Although I will say this on the nose thing--they would probably be planning on using a prosthetic nose and revealing the real nose as the after-surgery nose. Actually getting someone who needed the surgery and having it done might not be the easiest way to go!

Anonymous said...

Wha-huh? I so was bringing my blonde, blue-eyed 5 year old to Minnesota just to audition because they will LOVE him and make him FAMOUS and everyone else will LOVE him too!

Irene said...

I would like to be in that movie, but I am a 53 year old Dutch woman with blond hair and blue eyes and a small nose. Would that be okay, you think?

Liv said...

awww...now that's the world of film that i don't miss one bit. deluded stage moms.

Bonnie said...

Asshat Attention Whores!