Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Actual Conversation

The Matron spent another day combing hair (see The Lice Chronicles), cleaning upholstery, washing bedding (after attending a three hour workshop for her job) and contemplating, more less non-stop, the odd feeling on her own scalp -- a sensation that shifts and morphs and grows, sort of leaning into every spot that she THINKS about. Which is the whole darn head.

For new readers, let it be known that the Matron is a bona fide hypochondriac. The emergency room? Sort of like heaven. There is diagnostic equipment there.

Matron, at midnight, exhausted: "I am SO tired."

John, moving closer: "But aren't these bugs sort of an aphrodisiac?"

Matron: "Touch me and I divorce you."

John: "But doesn't trial and tribulation bring us closer together?"

Matron: "Not when it means touching the head of anyone else in this household."

John: "How about other body parts?"

7 comments:

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

I know a good family-law attorney. (No, I don't.) (Yes, I do.) (No, I don't.)

XO

Daisy said...

Um, well, maybe - only if he agrees to take the next shift of nit-picking. Seriously.

Laura said...

Is your husband related to my husband? I swear we've had the exact same conversation.

MJ said...

Ugh. Just reading this post takes me back to June 2010. (Shudder). I recall the feeling of having lice all over me plus having to contend with caterpillars falling from the leaves of trees. (Shudder) I hope you are infestation free soon!

Common Household Mom said...

I hate, despise, and loathe head lice. I dealt with them (repeatedly) in the summer of 2008. May you soon be free of them, and never have to return again.


http://commonhousehold.blogspot.com/2008/09/lousy-summer.html

kcinnova said...

I'm the same way with ticks. Except I can't live with the not-knowing. I beg my husband to check for me. And then if he didn't find any, I'd reward him.

Anonymous said...

Oh! How hard I just laughed reading this my dear friend!!