Sunday, September 21, 2014

Nothing Says "Hey I'm 50" Like . . .

A certain medical procedure, which the Matron will undergo tomorrow at 10:00 am.    Please let her never see another cup of clear broth or green JELL-O again.    But when she sees her husband, post-procedure, he better be bearing a big cup of coffee and fully loaded bagel.

Other indicators of a certain age?

Every night the Matron consumes the following elixer:  magnesium, tart cherry, melatonin (timed release).    Because she is no longer capable of sleep without assistance and that 3/4 half a bottle of wine every night just wasn't working out that well for her.

Today's New York Times Magazine features Gary Hart's tryst with Donna Rice and all that fell out afterward and it seems like just yesterday when that all happened.   Plus she even knew who Gary Hart was.

Although the Matron has required eye correction since she was a very Wee Miss, she is now swapping out her contacts for glasses at night.   Because her eyes are just, well, tired, by about 6 pm.  Which is when 'night' begins for her now.

This summer, she attended weddings of two young women she'd known since they were Wee Misses themselves.  She has friends who are (gasp) grandmothers).   More than one friend and the grandchildren aren't necessarily tiny, either.

"Glory be" and "Heavens to mercy" are phrases that she actually uses -- with passion and commitment.

Please pour her another stiff cup of tea while she unlaces the orthopedic shoes. . . .

Thursday, September 18, 2014

The Matron: Zen Master?

Many years ago when the Matron was a youngish Miss with two small children, her beloved trunlded her off to Kripalu for some yoga R & R. It was a lovely respite for Beleagured Mother. She participated in downward dog, saluted the sou, bent like a cobra. She attended various lectures on topics like "Loving Kindness To Anger Release" and "Do No Harm" and "Mindfulness Means Peace." Immediately following a particularly poignant "Do No Harm" presentation, yours truly returned to her room only to be bothered by a fly. No - -not the plague, hiccups, or other torture. Yours truly was subject to the buzzing mayhem of a simple house fly. Which meant she was soon screaming about her tiny yogic bedroom, batting newspapers and throwing books at the buzzing menace: "DIE MOTHERF#(%%@%!!!"

 Thus, her true nature was revealed.

 Scroll forward many years and that true nature. Mice.

 Every mouse in St. Paul has decided that the Matron's house will be Winter Resort or Rodent Party. They have descended and they poop. Everywhere. If the fly was a newspaper and book? Here is the Matron's true nature, her mouse demeanor.

  The Battle of Stirling - Braveheart (5/9) Movie CLIP (1995) HD

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The Matron's Fifteen Minutes

Yes indeed --yours truly is hoisting her hose and making the most out of her 15 minutes of semi-fame. The Today Show website! The Matron is asking you to "like," comment, or share the Today Story -- and make sure that everyone who loves his or her mother buys the darn book! Find out how this amazing teen made his mom's dream come true

Sunday, September 7, 2014

This One Speaks for Itself

But first, hand her a tissue. Rosenblum: Son's gift to writer mom is one for the books

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Magic: Just Starting!

Last week, the Matron read from her novel, At the End of Magic.    She picked up her son from COLLEGE (where he now lives) and the two arrived, early.    The store was alarmingly empty.  

Bookstore worker:   "You're competing with the state fair and the start of school.  Nobody showed up for last night's event."

Wherein He Who Cannot Be Named (HWCBN) but whom everyone knows, looked mildly alarmed.  His mother said 'not to worry' but she did.   She took her worried self to the Ladies Room, that time-tested respite from whatever else is happening outside of its doors.

A few minutes later?

People were walking in. . . and in . . . and in . . and more people started coming.   The bookstore workers had to get extra chairs.

Bookstore Worker:  "Folks, we can put a few people over here."

HWCBN was no longer alarmed but a wee bit proud of the room his mother packed.    Then that mother got to stand up in front of the crowd and talk about her work.  She read from the book.  She answered questions.

Really, truly great questions -- from people who actually read the damn book and were genuinely curious.    The Matron was happy -- so happy!-- to thoughtfully answer back, each question bringing her to some new self awareness or artistic realization.

Synergy ensued.   Goodwill and lively conversation.

The book store worker kept frantically signaling "time" on his pretend watch until the Matron snapped shut her book and promised to sign some of theirs.

Fifteen minutes later, as she was chatting and signing, she happened to look up and behind her.   There was a LINE.

Bookstore Worker:   "You're competing with the state fair and start of school, Mary -- and we ran out of chairs and books.   Impressive.  Good show, too."

And the son who made it all happen jhad shifted right to flat-out, happy, pride in his mama's show:  "Mom!  I didn't know you had that in you!"

"That" being genuine delight in discourse.  She is light on her conversational feet and enjoys every minute of it.    Not a big surprise to the blogging world, where the Matron gets to strut her stuff routinely--and watch others strut theirs too.

Thank you, Stryker.   It's going to be a magical ride.  Already is.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

As the World Turns

Yesterday, the Matron moved her eldest into his dorm room.   Tears were shed and not just by her.   That young man may have experienced a moment of Sniffle himself.

At the University of Minnesota (ahem, BIG scholarship), he is close to home, but oh-so-far-away.   Yesterday was clearly a move out.   Away.  Into the new chapter. 

And this one, the girl?

Is now a young woman.   Happy birthday, Scarlett!!  The Matron's only daughter turned 16 today!   The Matron and her husband are parents of few rules and one of them is:  no dating until you're 16.  That's right.  Not a  peck, not a walk in the park, not a boyfriend-girlfriend.   Merrick asked Scarlett if she "plans to go crazy."  

But her mother isn't worried about that.   This child has been focused, disciplined and determined since birth. She continues to amaze and blaze onstage (The Cherry Orchard, coming up next) but has also shown up as her older brother's intellectual equal.   He was fourth in his graduating class.  She is rounding that corner at #7.   But 16!

Suddenly, Merrick isn't quite so much the baby anymore.   Not after pulling on that uniform and stepping into Middle School this morning.  He went in her little guy and emerged a middle-schooler.

She is certain that he will try to break that 'date at 16 rule.'    

The Matron feels like the real matronly deal -- the old lady sitting with her cronies in the church basement, watching the young people sing and dance after the wedding -- full of nostalgia, full of hope for the spectacular future in the youth before her, humbled by her own role in the universe. Her life! Tiny! Huge! Tiny by scale but enormous in terms of heart. The scope of history gives us just a firefly blip in its timeline, but each day shaped by love is as rich and dense as eternity.  

She is grateful for each and every one of those days she's given. 

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Future Chair of the Federal Reserve Bank?

The Matron, awash with maternal anticipation for Middle School, took Merrick to orientation for his academically rigorous new school. Incoming sixth-graders were given a piece of paper with five questions and ushered into the gym, where a teacher explained precisely what they were to do with that piece of paper over the next two hours. Students would be going to small classroom meetings, where they would hear school themes and messages that should be recorded onto that paper to answer the five questions. This went on, clearly and without deviation, for 15 minutes. Then the group disbanded for said small classroom meetings.

Merrick (waving paper): "Mom?!! What do I do with this?"

Matron: "We just spent the past half hour talking about this!"

Merrick: "We did?"

Matron: "You go room to room with your group, and the teachers will give you ideas about how to answer the questions on the paper. Does that make sense?"

Merrick: "Is this school now or something before that happens? And what did you say again about that paper?"

When she left him with group and home room teacher, all she  could do was shove him into the fold, look the teacher square in the eye and say: (with meaiing):  "Good luck."
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