Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Actual Family Dynamic

Fishing from the pontoon boat? Of course!  The Matron and her family are at a cabin.

John: "I'm afraid to fish because everybody's going to argue about whether or not to kill it or throw it back in."

Merrick (thoroughly alarmed): "You were going to KILL a FISH?"

John: "See?"

Matron:   "Don't be silly. It will be fine."

John actually does catch a large fish -- maybe a carp? He knew, yours truly can't remember but DOES remember the screaming that ensued when the thing was dangling from the hook.

John: "Get the basket! Big enough for dinner!"

He might have said "let us murder all small children." Complete mayhem. Imagine all voices, top pitch.

Scarlett (already almost weeping): "Dad! He's gasping!!! Throw him back in!!!"

Merrick: "HIS NAME IS BUTTERBALL!!!! PUT BUTTERBALL HOME!"

Stryker: "My God, Dad. You're not seriously considering killing that poor thing are you?"

Butterball was returned to his murky home water.

John to wife: "Effective parenting or maternal indoctrination?"

Matron: "Careful. There's some algae on your leg that you might be smothering."