Friday, April 2, 2010

What?

Yesterday between 10 and 11 pm, the Matron became aware of the following vital information.

1. Sunday is Easter (really, as a practicing Buddhist, she wasn't tracking).

2. Merrick -- awake late because Scarlett had a friend sleeping over and much jealousy ensued) informed his mother that the "bunny is coming."

3. Scarlett is still uncertain about the Easter Bunny's actual existence but is adamant that nobody can make up Santa (she's 11 and the Matron wonders if this is ethical).

4. He Who Cannot Be Named is confident that Scarlett is entirely lying about all in #3 and it just out for sympathy and presents.

5. John is done with his part of the family taxes and the Matron? Uh, where is that folder?

6. It is possible for a dog to produce its body weight in vomit.

7. Cucumbers left in the fridge for a month morph into a meaty liquid.

8. If you don't water the plant in your son's bedroom, it dies, and then you need to have that awful mortality conversation. Don't even get her going about "Dave," the fly.

9. Ringworm is tenacious and inventive. The horror surrounding this can't quite be articulated, especially because--in case you weren't reading closely -- this information was imparted between 10 and 11 pm. On multiple body parts.

10. EVERYBODY snores, including the visiting dog who produced her body weight in vomit.

Guess who went 'bunny' shopping today?


6 comments:

Suburban Correspondent said...

I really could have warned you about Number 7. (Check out that gorgeous photo at the bottom of the post.)

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

A little part of me wants to get you going about Dave the fly where "little part of me" equals I'm pleading with you from the bottom of my heart to please tell the story.

Minnesota Matron said...

Every fly is Dave. Four years ago, when he was three, Merrick named a fly "Dave." Since then, every fly he sees he thinks is the SAME fly - -Dave. But Stryker is trying to hit Merrick with reality, telling Merrick that every time he sees "Dave" that a fly dies in like two hours. Which makes Merrick, ballistic because DAVE endures.

JFS in IL said...

Nasty ringworm - just ONE spot on ONE kid took FOREVER to eliminate and involved an oral and a topical prescription medication (after all the via internet suggestions failed) AND special shampoo for the animals in the house (who were the probably carriers even w/o symptoms. Yes, Satan's Familiar will need shampooing, too.

You deserve your own big chocolate bunny!!!! Preferably Dove or something NOT mostly wax.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

You've had more life lessons in a single week than I've had in a YEAR!
I do love that you name a fly "Dave."
Old cucumbers, ringworm and dog puke? Sheesh. That makes TAXES sound like a spa treatment!

Daisy said...

Oh, bunny shopping. I'll always remember dealing with St. Nick's day as our daughter's best friend (Catholic to the core) was opening gifts. We have birthdays on Dec. 10 and 11; no need for an Excuse for Presents on the 6th. Gah!