That's right. All the Matron has in her tonight are the headlines.
Paper, Paper, Read All About It! Stage Mother Snaps on Freeway and Abandons Car and Child! World Record for Audition and Commercials, Set!
Paper, Paper, Read All About it! Thirteen Year Olds Are Picture of Misery the Day Rapid Palatable Expanders are Installed!
(MOM! I AM NEVER EATING SOLID FOOD AGAIN!) so far, he hasn't
Paper, Paper, Read All About It! World's Earliest High School Drop Out: Child Quits School at Six!!
Do other six year olds call homework "the devil's hand?"
Paper, Paper, Read All About it! Swine Flu Strikes Annie! Orphans Dropping Like Flies!
This - headlines from a typical Matronly Tuesday.