Thursday, September 24, 2009

Because She is Not Allowed to Blog About Stryker

That's right. The eldest put a firm foot down on his own life writ large for others. The Matron explained to him that because she is currently working on a book of essays about HER FAMILY (of which he is a vocal part) that she cannot make that blanket promise. For better or worse, he was born to a writer. Honest to God-Oprah-Buddha-Allah-Universe, she cannot help herself. But she's aiming for more discretion.

And if you know her son in real life, let's just keep this between us, okay?

The disadvantage of having a very smart child is that he can do research online regarding Major Parental Health and Well-being Decisions.

Stryker: "MOM! Did you know there are viable alternatives to the Rapid Palatable Expander AKA Torture Device currently attempting to kill me inside of my own mouth!" With that, he handed the Matron FOUR peer-reviewed academic studies presenting alternate expanding methods to the RPE; three of those studies dismissed the RPE as the lazy dentist's cheap fallback.

For the record, Stryker is going to the University of Minnesota Dental Clinic. Can you say best practices? Training the future?

Still. The Matron has those papers for further late night reading. While her poor guy wastes away in front of her, unable to do more than slurp down gogurt.

On the other front? Scarlett's agency called to say that she's in the running for the iCarly commerical; they're still narrowing down to that magic constellation of 11 and 12 year old girls.

And Merrick still can't read.


Becky said...

Poor Stryker! The RPE does get better; my Laura had one put in back in March. It fixed her wicked crossbite, and she got used to it pretty quick. She still has it in because her nighttime headgear attaches to it, but that's a whole 'nother story.

Anonymous said...

Two words for Merrick: graphic design! Reading is highly overrated.

Suburban Correspondent said...

My oldest couldn't read until age 9. He's is now a freshman in college one year early. Don't sweat it, if Merrick's development seems normal otherwise.

~annie said...

I wouldn't say reading is highly overrated, but I do say don't worry for at least another 2-3 years. But wait - I thought he dropped out? Good luck to Scarlett! But who is this "Stryker"? I thought you only had two children? ;-)

Minnesota Matron said...

Becky -- Oh no! Night gear? Your poor daughter. We're headed toward night great, too.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Poor Stryker indeed. Tell me you merely smiled, nodded and replied, "Honey, whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger." I say that ALL the time to my tribe.
Merrick will read. Brent's just learning and he's almost 7. Merrick will read.

SUEB0B said...

I have heard that boys often lag in reading development. I'm sure he will be fine and will eventually catch up. He may never be a huge reader, but that's no crime. It is a big world, full of all kinds of things.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Dear Stryker (whom this comment isn't about because this post didn't mention him):

I didn't even know there were other options for that medieval device, and now I'm going to email your mother for the citations to those articles.

Dear Scarlett:

Laura will simply die if her mother knows (knows being a term loosely defined in the blogging world) the mother of someone who knows (knows being a terms loosely defined in the entertainment industry) iCarly.

Dear Merrick:


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