Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Look in The Mirror, Matron

In yesterday's comments, the ever-insightful Witchypoo pointed out that the astrological winds have been whipping about a bit and perhaps the Matron was caught in said tailspin.

Such logic pleases the Matron.

She's better now.

She got to the molten fetid core of the 'mother's day' issue. This blog post led her there. Thanks, Aaryn!

You see, there Aaryn Belfer complains about her mother's eccentricities. Her bold approach to life -- her mother's show-stopping, attention-getting, larger than life ways. Her mother's Out There Approach takes Aaryn aback.

Here is the photo the demure dear Aaryn submitted to Derfwad Manor, potentially to be seen as representative-- and by millions.

Aaryn? The apple is wobbling dangerously near that tree. She says this in the most loving way, because she thought Aaryn's mother sounded like someone the Matron wanted to BE and the Matron was a little like 'wow could I be so groovy' when she first saw this picture.

But this allowed the always soul-searching Matron a little beacon of light into her own recesses. She was wobbling near that maternal tree, too. Only she was a rotten apple.

Today, the Matron was able to understand -- in that gut, illuminating, aha sort of way--how some qualities central to her own self were very similar to her mother.

The Matron was looking at her own life as trap, sieve blocked up with the gunk, bottleneck - burden. She felt put upon, over-worked and underappreciated. Mother's Day? She took no joy in her children. Life felt like work, work, work. Heck, she didn't even WANT children.

And the light!

She realized that, when she was a child and teen, this shoulder to the grindstone, life of Labor and pine, was a quality she saw (real or imagined) and most disliked in her mother. And now the Matron was wearing the exact same hair shirt!! (in a smaller and cuter size)

Indeed, not only was she wearing this frumpy little frock - it had become a second skin.

The Matron has the good sense to understand that if she had been a penniless, single mother of three, returning to college and sometimes holding down THREE jobs, she would be all shoulder to the grindstone as well. Her mother had no other options. It was 24-7 Shoulder that Burden.

The Matron? Not so much.

So the Matron took her own fine life out of its box again and held it to the window, where the late afternoon light came in -- just so--and the trees popped a brilliant green background to the blooming while lilacs.

And where yesterday she saw Burden, today she saw Luck and Light. And no small degree of self-creation.

Sure, there is Scarlett's bedroom.

But there is also beauty.

And order in that same home

No, he can't read yet.

But he's here. Present. Not hung up or in a hurry or stressed because there's no time or money. And the Matron wants him to stay that way. That hairshirt isn't the kind of garment she intends to pass down.


Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I'm glad you got your insight. And that little illiterate boy is darn cute!

The Gossamer Woman said...

Well, good for you. I think it's called, counting your blessings, but that sounds like a very outmoded term and not at all sufficient. It's good that this all got started because of Mother's Day, that fallacy of a holiday. I told you it's a set up. I'm glad you saw the light.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Don't be too hard on yourself - you have been extra busy! But I'm glad you got to slow down and smell the roses, as it were.

Stop worrying about Merrick, if he seems bright otherwise. My oldest son first read at age 9. He's going to college this August a year early. If you want details, just e-mail me.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

My hope is that our mother shirts don't get passed down to our sons. I tell people that's why God gave me only sons, no daughters. The cycle of dysfunction had to be broken. Amen.

Amy said...

I've discovered in spite of myself I was passing down some of the things I didn't want to but I am also blessed to have a great mom and I hope I pass that down to. I also realized yesterday I needed to slow down and spend real time with my kids, not just face time. I want them to remember that and not me stressing.

TexasDeb said...

My husband and I both were SO determined we would NOT make the mistakes we so clearly saw our parents had made raising us up into nonetheless fine upstanding etcs.

We proceeded to make an entirely different and new set of mistakes, all our own.

I keep telling our kids maybe that is what evolution looks like on the ground. Spotting an error, stepping around it. Next batch does the same and eventually....what?

Perfection? Nah....but closer to....maybe.

The love that is clearly demonstrated is most important of all I decided. Mistakes WILL be made. The love is supposed to help us see past that. I hope. Good for your insights and thanks for sharing.

Daisy said...

That's a unique and creative use for cheeseheads. I only own one; I guess we'd have to share.