Monday, May 11, 2009

Monday Morning Grouse

The Matron is out of sorts.

Yesterday was a bad day!  She and John groused at one another and the Matron spent most of her free time, cleaning.    Sure, the family agrees that Mother's Day is just one more cash cow for Hallmark, but she felt, well, neglected.

Scarlett and Merrick did make her a beaded necklace.

It broke.

This morning, her jeans were tight.    There might be a direct correlation to the amount of chocolate and chips  consumed by a certain someone over the weekend.

There's a fun little item in the Matron's life called 'the dropbox.'  This is where students 'drop' their final assignments.  Guess how many items are in the Matron's box?  Over 150.   Sigh.

Here's the kicker.  She tried, tried, tried to practice Naikon yesterday.  This is the practice of gratitude that she's written about before.    She tried to consider the pain she's caused her own mother, what gifts she received and what she (the Matron) received in return. 

Instead, all she could conjure from her childhood is that when she was a teenager living in Germany as an exchange student, she wrote home requesting chicken, fried rice and corn on the cob as her welcome home meal.   This request was sent via more than one letter and was more like "oh my god if you love me you'll make me my favorite foods I am DYING with the sauerkraut."

She's still bitter about the hamburger helper she got instead.   And more. . . . 

Friends, shall she consider today an experiment?  She is going to practice loving kindness -- relentlessly.  With ferver.  Starting with herself.  So whenever the great big swell of General Unpleasantness that has currently consumed the usually optimistic and upbeat Matron bears down?  She is going to greet this with love, kindness and sympathy.  Maybe she can get to a better place and start extending that feeling to her mother.

Let's see what happens,  shall we?

Given that her entire family is just one click from discovering this blog (hello to those who are already regular readers! she's sorry she's still wearing these warts),  this post will probably be removed tomorrow - -let's hope her mood goes with it.


kmkat said...

Or perhaps you should just go with it. Grab the ax, rid the world of some (many?) annoyances, and then relax with a cup of bitter herbs.

Nah. You might get rid of me. Hang in there.

Mrs Trefusis... said...

Leave it up: if they discover your blog, I think it's good for them to discover how good you were to have the grace to disguise your feelings at their lack of Mother's Day loveliness.
My own 'grrrrr' Mothering Sunday (as it's called in the UK - different date, linked to church calendar and for a dozen other idiosyncratic and British reasons) was when I was still in hospital having given birth 36 hours earlier to our son. I enquired rather forlornly whether flowers and a card might not be in order, since it was my first Mothering Sunday only to receive the inadequate response that a baby was surely a good enough present in itself. Gah! HOPELESS.

MJ said...

Sorry that Mother's Day didn't meet with your expectation.

It could have been worse: you could have made Hamburger Helper for supper which would have been punitive towards yourself; but then it could have been revenge to the family for not properly celebrating you! It's all about perspective. If things are still off today, pop by and pick some up for supper! Misery loves company!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Try as we might to not have expectations on Mother's Day, we do.

My family got me a lovely Coach bag--which is great. I really, really wanted uncomplaining help from my teens to spring clean the garden and house--severely neglected during my final semester of college. I got the help, but not without gnashing of teeth and general wailing. I'm over it, but I was pretty ticked while it was happening.

That meal thing would have stuck with me forever too. Good luck with relentless kindness.

Amy said...

My husband's usual M.O.? I'm not his mother so he doesn't have to get me anything. I actually did a post about this. And my jeans? Have been tight for awhile. My cure-eat more. Makes me feel better. lol

Lynda said...

Mothers... being one/having one... a great place to begin praticing what we believe, isn't it?

The Gossamer Woman said...

It's a rotten day and we are set up, I tell you. It's a commercially hijacked day, yet we get fooled into thinking that this is a day we are supposed to be made to feel special and feel ticked off if we don't. As if we should care! Donating money to Hallmark for cheesy cards is not my favorite thing I want my kid to do. Just "I love you, Mom" will do.

witchypoo said...

Last week, the full moon in Scorpio kicked everybody's butt, especially those born in water signs. Although the mood has lifted a wee bit now, the residuals are still with us. I had an unhinged client who made my life hell. I am only feeling somewhat better today. Oh. I have a point. These things pass.

Mrs. G. said...

I think it's good reading for the family.

Daisy said...

Hugs to you. I had a good Mothers Day weekend, then arrived at work Monday morning to find a hugely insulting email from the principal, followed up by news that a student got in trouble with the police over the weekend. A fourth grader!
I want to quit. Seriously.

Karen ~ said...

Oh my, I read your post and all that stuck out at me was the coming-home-from-being-an-echange-student story. I was an exchange student too. 30 years ago. And YES, I still bear grudges against those who did not honor my explicitly stated wishes for what I wanted FIRST when I arrived home (which was a whole-nother-story as my parents moved while I was gone. Yeah, that was a toughie. Then there was the other year when they had my dog put down while I was away, and weren't going to tell me - just let me come home to an empty house. Yeah, I feel your pain.

Oh, and hope you found something to feel better about on Mother's Day.

leafmonster said...

Here's my beef about Mother's/Father's Day: for Mother's day the preschools and elementary schools are all about having the kids make those cute cards with handprints and sobby poems. Many hours of instructional time are devoted to this task. The father of the children gets off scot free, since it is accomplished for him via the public education system.

Not so for Father's Day! Who decided that Father's Day would be in June, when school is out, thereby leaving the preparations of cards with sobby poems to... guess who.... Mom!