The Matron spent the past two hours searching the neighborhood for Satan's Familiar.
Finally, she tossed in the towel and headed for the van so she could travel greater distances in her daily (at least) search for that damn dog.
Guess what? The man who is unable to move this, forgot Satan's Familiar in the van. Where he languished for nearly five hours!
Yes, now the Matron can search for the dog even when he's not missing. He IS magic, able to suck up all her time and spirit that way.
Now that the Matron's previous post has established her as an utterly unreliable narrator, you may not believe the terrible truth: as she was typing this, she heard Satan's Familiar barking and barking and barking -- from about four blocks away.
But she bought a crate. The problem is that it's hard to see his evil little self in there, all huddling and whimpering. That dog has the Matron on a very special leash.