Stryker: "You mean your friend Cecelia's birthday party? The one you forced us all to go to? That potluck that mostly featured fake food like sushi.? The incredibly boring party where all the women were in the kitchen and the men were by the beer in the family room while the little kids trashed the basement?"
Matron (SO knowing when to pick her battles): "Yes, that one. Did you have a good time?'
Stryker: "Did you see me in the kitchen?"
Matron: "No? You were?"
Stryker: "All those moms! Nobody noticed me!! Every other kid was like, six, trashing the basement, and I was sitting in the kitchen with my iPod, with all the women. By the back hallway!!!!! GOD. Didn't you even notice me?"
Stryker: "All those moms! Nobody noticed me!! Every other kid was like, six, trashing the basement, and I was sitting in the kitchen with my iPod, with all the women. By the back hallway!!!!! GOD. Didn't you even notice me?"
Matron: "Uh, why no. You were in the kitchen hallway most of the night?"
Stryker: "MOM. I heard one million birth stories. All those moms in the kitchen for HOURS. (high voices) I was in labor 36 hours! My water broke in K-Mart! The doctor had to stick her hand into the birth canal and PULL. I wanted to f$%^^ kill my husband; sex is not that much fun. -- Can we just sum up the evening as the 13 year old boy hears 14 birth stories and really wishes he had not that much SPECIFIC information about female PROCESSES?
Stryker: "MOM. I heard one million birth stories. All those moms in the kitchen for HOURS. (high voices) I was in labor 36 hours! My water broke in K-Mart! The doctor had to stick her hand into the birth canal and PULL. I wanted to f$%^^ kill my husband; sex is not that much fun. -- Can we just sum up the evening as the 13 year old boy hears 14 birth stories and really wishes he had not that much SPECIFIC information about female PROCESSES?
Matron: "Oh no. SO sorry. Wanna hear about how my water broke 40 hours before you were born?"
He didn't.
