Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Back Tomorrow

Really. Don't leave her. Someone you know well through prose put off all things Christmas until yesterday and is now soaking her feet and collapsing. But do note that the Matron will challenge any blogger on the reliability of her prose over the past --what -- two to three -- years? Can two or three years be interchangeable when you're seven? Of course not. But when you're pushing fifty, let's just sigh and toss out ' a couple of years' as all encompassing.

And the Christmas tree keeps falling down, meaning the massive new dog in the house eats all the candy canes and then starts on the ornaments. Peeing on the fallen tree is also tempting and sometimes an option.

Matron to John: "Our children haven't even set foot in a church. This is insane! The tree keeps falling. God does exist and he's punishing me!!"

John: "No, the tree stand is unstable. You are too."

Matron: "I'm a product of my culture."

John: "Please clue me into what culture that is so I can steer away the children."

But otherwise, all is good.

More tomorrow -- and she wishes everyone well in your own end-of-the-year solstice, Christmas, post-Chanuka, Kwanza, pre-tax season frenzy.

4 comments:

unmitigated me said...

Must you mention tax season? I am still awaiting the arrival of one final gift, and have not wrapped a single thing. Though the wrapping will be the work of a single evening.

Suburban Correspondent said...

I hear you. At least you didn't decide to fall ill for the past 8 days - I'm telling you, it lends an exciting air of uncertainty to the season.

As for me, I've never really been tempted to pee on a Christmas tree. Should that be added to the bucket list?

Wenderina said...

Our trees don't get pee'd on, but they are known to emit growling noises from the unsociable cat who takes up residence in the branches. Can you imagine if we combined homes?

Anonymous said...

John: "No, the tree stand is unstable. You are too."

Matron: "I'm a product of my culture."

John: "Please clue me into what culture that is so I can steer away the children."

rotflmho! love it.