Monday, October 4, 2010

Actual Conversation

The Matron and Merrick are at the locally owned, natural foods co-op, as in organic food, hippy-dippy sort of place. This place is populated by all kinds of cool, free-spirited people (and the Matron would like to count herself as one of them). Merrick spies something of interest.

Merrick: "Mom, can we buy some fag newtons?"

Matron: "Pardon?"

Merrick: "In awt class, we learned all about how the old people -- like a million yeaws ago in Gweece --ate the fags. I'd like some."

Matron: "You mean fig newtons. Those are figs."

Merrick: "Yup. Fag newtons. I'm a big fan of fags."

And an older man, listening, leaned into the conversation, held out a dollar, and said: "Me too. Those fag newtons are on me, buddy."

The Matron let him keep the dollar. And smiled for about two hours afterward.

10 comments:

trash said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
trash said...

oops! Sorry, typo. What I said was

And lo! They shall be 'Fag Newtons ever more.

Daisy said...

If he were in England, I suppose he'd be smoking them.

Dorrie said...

I am a big fan of Merrick. Keep those stories coming. How can you not love that kid?

Anonymous said...

Love it! I have a kid who called that same cookie a "Big Nudie" for way too long! Bramble

haphazardmusings said...

I don't know what it is, but I can't stop giggling about this. What a funny little guy!

Xtreme English said...

how wonderful! a new name for something that's been around since the Great Flood!!

love them fag newtons!!

KL Crab said...

I'll be giggling down the cookie aisle from here on out.

MJ said...

Wait until he understands who Newton was! Fag Newtons will take on a new dimension!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I may think of this all day and snicker. Hysterical!