Thursday, July 15, 2010

Actual Conversation

Matron, calling local salon for a haircut for Scarlett: "Hi, I'd like to schedule an appointment for a haircut for a child--with Krista."

Anonymous Phone Person (APP): "I'm so sorry. Krista is no longer with us."

Matron: "That's okay. This is a trim for an eleven-year old. She has straight long hair and just needs the ends trimmed. We'll take anyone. A monkey could do it."

Significant pause.

APP: "A monkey?"

Matron: "A trim. Half an inch, straight across at the bottom. A monkey with scissors. Whoever is available is fine."

More silence.

Matron, back-pedaling: "Clearly, I'm less competent than a monkey. If I could trim the hair, I'd do it myself. So anyone who can trim long hair is perfect. No monkeys. This is clearly an art."

APP: "How about Kathy at 5:30 on Thursday?"

Matron: "Great!"

APP: "She's not a monkey."

Matron: "That's okay, too."

And when she showed up for that appointment with Scarlett? Everyone peeked to see who the 'monkey comment' lady was . . . .

While yours truly is given to hyperbole, that conversation actually ensued, nearly word for word.

But give a monkey a scissors and Scarlett will be just fine for a decade.


Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

You totally should have showed up eating a banana. :-)


Susan said...

My belly laugh just woke the dog.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps HWCBN could do it? My impression of him is that he is rather more skilled than a monkey.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I about peed myself laughing--holy foot in mouth, Matron! Yipes!

Daisy said...

Mental Floss has a t-shirt: "Hyperbole is the Best Thing Ever!" Maybe your monkey needs a shirt like that.

Anonymous said...

Laughing so hard I am choking and coughing! And I needed to laugh more than you can know...

apathy lounge said...

Some people are SO sensitive!!

Anonymous said...

If you could see my kindergarten picture you would know that a 5 year old girl with scissors is more dangerous than a monkey giving a haircut! Frankenstein bangs that ran all the way up to my hairline (crookedly) and no amount of monkeying could fix that!
The pixie haircut that had to follow about near killed my Mom who had patiently let my hair grow past my shoulders! Ahhhh, women (girls) and hair, a never ending issue! Mary, you always make me laugh! Bramble

MidLifeMama said...

Some people have no sense of humor at all.

Ulrike said...

Laughed till I cried. Thank you for your foot in mouth. It made my day.