Matron to family: "I'm not working this summer, so I'll have all the time in the world to be with everyone and do EVERYTHING!! Who wants fresh cookies and home-made salsa? I just cleaned all the bathrooms and spent six hours driving children to summer camps and play dates! How fun is this! Here, eat some cookie dough! It's organic and from scratch."
John: "Uh . . . . can I say something about that?"
Matron: "Maybe. You'd prefer chip dip?"
John: "Do you remember that last week, you signed a book contract? The title of the book -- in case you've forgotten - is "How to Advocate for Quality Health Care: A Guide for Patients and Families." This treatise is due October 10, which is about 120 days, not weeks, away. "
Matron: "Your point?"
John: "Do you also remember that you're now the Gender and Women Studies ENTIRE DEPARTMENT at your college, single-handedly developing, designing and deploying a new degree program? For which you have to develop five new classes over the summer?"
Matron: Determined silence.
John: "And you're teaching a new class in English, too, and have to put that up online AND you're doing a big technology training for faculty in July. And you're writing an article for that national technology publication, right? Due in three weeks?"
Matron: Getting really good at the silence thing.
John: "You are totally working. But you're just not teaching because you're doing every other possible thing under the sun. Can I reiterate: you have 120 days to write a book and have signed the contract, for which you've recieved money."
Matron: "Effective rhetorical strategy, John."
John: "It's called truth."
And then she had a martini, a mental breakdown and went to bed.
Happy Father's Day, honey!