Matron to family: "I'm not working this summer, so I'll have all the time in the world to be with everyone and do EVERYTHING!! Who wants fresh cookies and home-made salsa? I just cleaned all the bathrooms and spent six hours driving children to summer camps and play dates! How fun is this! Here, eat some cookie dough! It's organic and from scratch."
John: "Uh . . . . can I say something about that?"
Matron: "Maybe. You'd prefer chip dip?"
John: "Do you remember that last week, you signed a book contract? The title of the book -- in case you've forgotten - is "How to Advocate for Quality Health Care: A Guide for Patients and Families." This treatise is due October 10, which is about 120 days, not weeks, away. "
Matron: "Your point?"
John: "Do you also remember that you're now the Gender and Women Studies ENTIRE DEPARTMENT at your college, single-handedly developing, designing and deploying a new degree program? For which you have to develop five new classes over the summer?"
Matron: Determined silence.
John: "And you're teaching a new class in English, too, and have to put that up online AND you're doing a big technology training for faculty in July. And you're writing an article for that national technology publication, right? Due in three weeks?"
Matron: Getting really good at the silence thing.
John: "You are totally working. But you're just not teaching because you're doing every other possible thing under the sun. Can I reiterate: you have 120 days to write a book and have signed the contract, for which you've recieved money."
Matron: "Effective rhetorical strategy, John."
John: "It's called truth."
And then she had a martini, a mental breakdown and went to bed.
Happy Father's Day, honey!
11 comments:
Oy!! Must a realist always show up and ruin a good trip down de Nile?
Perhps he is the tether that keeps the beautiful balloon or bubble from floating away?
As far as my summer, I've cleaned one bathroom and I hope that's it. They can clean their own pee off the floor...
I hate it when reality comes along and spoils all my fun! Try to enjoy your summer!
Wow, your husband is something else! Mine would have enjoyed the fun for at least a week before reminding me to get to work!
But balance isn't a bad thing, I guess...
If anyone can do it, you can. And bake organic cookies to boot!
Next time he wants you to do all the carpooling, remind him that you have many deadlines to reach before October and you MUST get on them right away.
Wow. I take it you get more done when you're busy? :)
I'm pooped out just reading that to do list.
John. Really. Reality check? Who put the sour lemon in his coffee? No doubt, Minnesota Matron, considering she has ample time on her hands!
Don't forget to don your Wonder Woman bracelets when you get up! Wow. You go!
Oh, my ga!!! And I thought my to do list was bad..
sheesh...how will you ever do it, woman, by dragging along a gallon of wine??
Post a Comment