And it is.
The Matron knows, because some weird hormonal, aging cocktail means she is only allowed five to six hours of sleep a night.
The 5:00 a.m. wake up call introduced a glorious day --and memories of yesterday's surreal trip to the University of Minnesota's Hospital and Clinic's emergency room.
After decades of bad teeth, the Matron's husband (John) -- can we just pause here to note how proper she is? New readers might not know that the husband is "John," so he must be introduced in paretheses. Love that! She's referenced these issues before and will do so again. If she wasn't so lazy, she'd link that reference.
Anyway, back to the point. Yesterday, John went to the U of MN School of Dentistry to inquire about the braces he should have gotten 30 years ago.
Waiting for said appintment, poor husband fell ill.
Staggered against a door. Required assistance from professionals. Endured indescribable stomach pain. Pale as a ghost. Was immediately carried to the Emergency Room.
Yours truly was headed to a sporting goods store with the younger two, in search of the perfect bathing suit, sandals and shorts for Saturday's summer vacation (more on that marathon later). Now, the perfect bathing suit, sandals and shorts would be for Scarlett. Let's just say that these are not easy to secure.
She got the call from the ER and immediately flipped about and soared there. John was in agony on a cot in a dreary room.
Merrick, en route to hospital: "Mama? I hate to say this, but the whole thing is VEWY exciting!"
No one, in the history of humans and hospitals, has ever had more fun in an emergency room than Merrick.
He got ice from the machine in the hallway. He moved the bed up and down. He navigated the lights. That child turned on the television, called for the nurse (without permission but oh, how they loved him), tested blood pressure (really, he watched and learned), used his Mama's cell phone, took temperatures, arm-wrestled anyone willing and made full and exotic use of the sink --with the ice from the hallway.
It's possible to spin 59 times in a row on the little doctor's stool. With an audience.
He also stood just outside the examining room -- room number 3 out of 17 -- to watch all the action, too. A county sheriff brought in a 'bad guy' which sent poor Merrick over the edge.
Merrick: "MOM DAD! The police are here with a huwt BAD GUY! He's in a LOCKED WOOM! Can I go in thewe?"
Friendly Nurse Who is Paying Attention: "Hey there buddy. Would you like a Popsicle instead?"
Merrick: "A WEAL Popsicle? YES!!"
He is so easy.
This from a woman who gave birth to three babies without pain medication, who has now stood by her mother's bedside for constipation (four days) and her husband's for bowel woes.
If there is a God, she is getting a really good spot in Heaven. Like the throne, with tiara and vodka.