Monday, February 8, 2010

Baby Games

Sniffle!

Snort!

The cycle of life both began again and came to a grinding halt at 10:17 this morning when the Matron's little brother and his beautiful (true) wife welcomed their third -- and currently unnamed -- son into the world!

The Matron recommended to her brother that he allow his older sons -- six and nine-- to make that final name decision from a short acceptable list, just as she did. With mixed results as Merrick is now unfortunately named after a Yu-Gi-Oh character.

And what's so final about a new baby? This is the end of the reproductive road for the Matron's siblings. All those grandchildren and cousins? All here: five boys and Scarlett. Who never fails to address this issue at family gatherings.

Scarlett: "It is not FAIR. Where is my sister?! Where is my cousin?!"

To imagine the volume and intensity of this lament, the Matron opens a wee window into this morning's before school scrimmage. Scarlett, who has been on antibiotics for strep throat since Thursday announced today that the infection must have spread to her stomach and right hip because both were causing her UNBEARABLE pain.

She limped around the house, dragging the game leg behind her and moaning about the stomach (and throat). The Matron became aware of this emergency while in the basement. Scarlett was on the second floor. She has projection power second to no one.

Gee, you would think those antibiotics would have kicked in by now.

Matron: "Scarlett, you can use a hair dryer to dry your hair before school."

Scarlett: "No I can't. My hair doesn't dry normally. Dryers don't work on it."

Some days, the Matron is very very glad that there is just one other set of ovaries in this particular roost because she thinks one hysterical operatic hypochondriac with hair unable to dry normally is about all she can handle.

9 comments:

kcinnova said...

My SIL was sure that the older brothers named a boy after Thomas the Tank Engine. (They didn't, but the connection can't be denied.)

My mother has 9 grandsons and one granddaughter.
My husband's parents have 10 grandsons and one granddaughter.
As the mother of 4 boys, I am clearly NOT the girl link.
The good news is, the next generation is producing girls (2 here, 2 more on the way by spring). And you can remind Scarlett that she doesn't have share anything with a sister (including attention from boys)!

Minnesota Matron said...

So true, about what she gets to hold all for herself! And that's a whole lot of boy genes in your family!

Deb said...

This is the best I've heard yet, "My hair doesn't dry normally!"

Now, where can I use this in a conversation with other adults to watch the expression on their faces. This is clear fodder for a wonderful, laughable moment.

Daisy said...

"hysterical operatic hypochondriac" -- that's almost as good as the dyslexic agnostic insomniac lying awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

Three daughters and a wife. My poor, dear husband.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

SO many boys! We're testosterone heavy in our families, too. Well, it's mostly my fault, come to think of it...

MJ said...

Daisy reminded me of the Gandhi joke that he's a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. I thought you needed to know that.... You know what it is parodying....

jenn said...

I think Scarlett is plenty of girl for one family! "dryers don't work on it" = *snort*! ;)

Anonymous said...

Hi, Mary of Minnesota,
I just read this post and jumped to your post about names. I am similarly afflicted with a predilection toward naming things. After I gave most of my kids extra names just to use them up I was limited to animals. Around here I own naming rights to our pets and I have a list which will last me forever.
And you can take comfort in the fact that all new babies now MUST be named something individual, so the old good names can be appreciated again. As for my name, Jennifer - ruined.
Jenny