Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Even Stage Mother is Reeling

Reader, you lucky thing, you!

Because the Matron is composing this in the HEAT of the moment, as the action unfolds. Yes! She's waiting with a bevy of mostly mothers while 63 girls jiggle, shake and sing at callbacks for Annie.

OMIGOD.

Even though this is community theatre, the tension is as high as The Children's Theatre because, this is ANNIE. Every little girl's dream role, including Scarlett's, who has already staged this as her first-ever backyard show.

But the thing that bothered the Matron first?

She is tired of this:

"Oh of course, Scarlett got a callback. She has just the right shape of face for Annie and is a good singer. My little (fill in the blank) has big feet and a funny nose. She spits when she sings so she'll never get in."

"My little Emma isn't as confident as Scarlett. She takes a lot of work to get ready."

"I could never let Rachel audition. She's too slow in school."

"Laura's dancing is weak. But she just won't take lessons!"

Ladies: even if your daughters have bona fide genuine flaws (as we all do) why are you sharing these real or imagined shortcomings in public with complete strangers? Give your child some D.I.G.N.I.T.Y. (this from someone who blogs about hers but there's hypocrisy for you)

Here's the second thing that bothered the Matron. Ted Kennedy just died. The nation is in an uproar over health care. That war in Afghanistan? Eight years and renewing for another season. Michelle Obama! Hello!? Can we talk about the rip-roaring rock-star First Lady for awhile or even the ding dong First Dog?

To her right, there is a group of mamas who have spent the past TWO HOURS talking nonstop about their children.

If Merrick is at a friend's house and the parent calls to recount how her son has been spending his moments? How he flung that fake knife and frolicked in the fields? SHE DOES NOT CARE. Please please do not give her the blow by blow.

Is he bleeding? Limb need amputating? Okay, then. It's fine.
~*~*~*~

Tick tock -- those would be minutes the Matron was just now NOT blogging because. . .
OMIGOD she spent the past 20 minutes listening to someone talk about HER DAUGHTER'S SHOWS. Can she die now?

Head explosion. Don't these people read books! Bring one!! Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*

Audition Update: the night started out with 63 girls for the callback, weaned from 140 at the initial event. Two and a half hours they are down to about a dozen possible Annie's.

Leaving their PARENTS outside to talk to the Matron!! AAAARGH.

Speculation about casting, size, hair tone and shape of eyebrow, bent of knee -- these things do not interest her!

Oh no: over-involved parents are descending. She must sign off lest someone uncover the blog and start throwing darts at the next audition. It is a small theatre world and she knows some of these people by name and child! Intimately.

~~*~*~*~*

Addendum:

At 9:30 as the Matron and her daughter were walking through the door after the three and a half hour callback?

Ring ring ring goes the phone.

Scarlett is Annie!

The Matron will now have a cocktail and a pill.

18 comments:

kmkat said...

Why am I not surprised? I knew she would be Annie when I read that she was auditioning. Congrats, Scarlett! Knock 'em dead!

SUEB0B said...

What an amazing kid.

I feel for you. I once had to sit next to a BFs cousin for an hour and fifteen minutes while he told me every detail of his home remodel. I was thinking the same thing - I wonder if this guy has ever read a book.

Becky said...

OH MY LORD! That is so exciting! As I read your post, I was telling myself it wasn't the end of the world if she didn't get it, but I really wanted her to!

You'll need the cocktails and pills to get through the rehearsals, I bet!

Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

Wow!!! Maybe you're a bit of an object lesson for the obsessed moms... the child of the mother with other things to think about and the sense not to broadcast her daughter's flaws gets the part -- hmmmmm.

Suburban Correspondent said...

Hooray! She'll be perfect!

And I'm so glad to hear there is another mother who doesn't care what her child is doing, so long as there is no blood involved. Why should we be so involved in their play? It's almost like voyeurism.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Congratulations! And well done, keeping your cool under pressure.

Michele Renee said...

Congrats! I am so excited for her.

The Other Laura said...

Congats to Scarlett. I know she'll make a great Annie!

I'm happy to now that I am not the only person who is annoyed by the loud oversharing in public waiting spaces. I'm beginning to think there should be a "silent" area, just a few chairs shoved together where one could actually read a book, or blog.

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

My daughter took a tumbling class for 2 months. I experienced the same thing while in the waiting room. The only difference...it was cheerleaders who were practicing in the other half of the gym.

These moms were going on and on about the stunts and the cheers and who had a strong back flip and who could the best forward flip with a two and half pike. It was maddening!

Congratulations to Scarlett!

jenn said...

Congratulations, Scarlett!!! How exciting.

Cha Cha said...

I am so excited for Scarlett! And sending a case of wine your way ...

Hay said...

Congrats to Scarlett!!!!

Once a lady and I were discussing unschooling, and she said, infront of her daughter,
"Oh, we could never unschool, she doesn't have a curious mind, I have to teach her everything."

End of conversation.

Ulrike said...

Matron, you are soooo funny. I can just imagine being at there: all those people without books to read quietly and minding their own business, crapping on about nothing instead. It would drive you nuts. But you made it entertaining.

And congratulations Scarlett :-)

Susan said...

I always have a book and the sense to read it when in one of those Mommie crowds. I always hope there is someone interested in something besides kids and gossip - but it is rare.

MJ said...

Congrats Scarlett, or should I say Annie, as you are already likely in character and practicing your new role?!

Minnesota Matron said...

The sun?! It's out and blinding the Matron . . . we are nonstop show tunes.

Daisy said...

The sun'll come out tomorrow - bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be sun -- sing it, Annie's Mom!

another mary said...

Can't wait to see it!