Even Stage Mother is Reeling

Reader, you lucky thing, you!

Because the Matron is composing this in the HEAT of the moment, as the action unfolds. Yes! She's waiting with a bevy of mostly mothers while 63 girls jiggle, shake and sing at callbacks for Annie.

OMIGOD.

Even though this is community theatre, the tension is as high as The Children's Theatre because, this is ANNIE. Every little girl's dream role, including Scarlett's, who has already staged this as her first-ever backyard show.

But the thing that bothered the Matron first?

She is tired of this:

"Oh of course, Scarlett got a callback. She has just the right shape of face for Annie and is a good singer. My little (fill in the blank) has big feet and a funny nose. She spits when she sings so she'll never get in."

"My little Emma isn't as confident as Scarlett. She takes a lot of work to get ready."

"I could never let Rachel audition. She's too slow in school."

"Laura's dancing is weak. But she just won't take lessons!"

Ladies: even if your daughters have bona fide genuine flaws (as we all do) why are you sharing these real or imagined shortcomings in public with complete strangers? Give your child some D.I.G.N.I.T.Y. (this from someone who blogs about hers but there's hypocrisy for you)

Here's the second thing that bothered the Matron. Ted Kennedy just died. The nation is in an uproar over health care. That war in Afghanistan? Eight years and renewing for another season. Michelle Obama! Hello!? Can we talk about the rip-roaring rock-star First Lady for awhile or even the ding dong First Dog?

To her right, there is a group of mamas who have spent the past TWO HOURS talking nonstop about their children.

If Merrick is at a friend's house and the parent calls to recount how her son has been spending his moments? How he flung that fake knife and frolicked in the fields? SHE DOES NOT CARE. Please please do not give her the blow by blow.

Is he bleeding? Limb need amputating? Okay, then. It's fine.

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Tick tock -- those would be minutes the Matron was just now NOT blogging because. . .

OMIGOD she spent the past 20 minutes listening to someone talk about HER DAUGHTER'S SHOWS. Can she die now?

Head explosion. Don't these people read books! Bring one!! Enjoy!

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Audition Update: the night started out with 63 girls for the callback, weaned from 140 at the initial event. Two and a half hours they are down to about a dozen possible Annie's.

Leaving their PARENTS outside to talk to the Matron!! AAAARGH.

Speculation about casting, size, hair tone and shape of eyebrow, bent of knee -- these things do not interest her!

Oh no: over-involved parents are descending. She must sign off lest someone uncover the blog and start throwing darts at the next audition. It is a small theatre world and she knows some of these people by name and child! Intimately.

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Addendum:

At 9:30 as the Matron and her daughter were walking through the door after the three and a half hour callback?

Ring ring ring goes the phone.

Scarlett is Annie!

The Matron will now have a cocktail and a pill.