The Matron has a friend who gives David Sedaris a run for the money, on a daily basis. This friend, except for the voice, probably IS David Sedaris in hiding, they are that much alike.
So she calls him -- at work - -this morning. He is currently toiling as a receptionist at a law firm.
Matron: "Good morning, honey!"
David Sedaris In Hiding: "Darling! Let me tell you about my cat's latest attempt to take my life. Oh damn. That phone. What are these people thinking! Hold on a minute."
da-da-da-da holding. . . .
DSIH: "Can you believe the nerve, some of these people, calling? Where was I? Good God! Someone is walking in the door.!! Oh my GOD now I have to deal with this dunce. Hang on a minute. . . "
da-da-da-dah waiting. . . .
DSIH: "I'm back! Got rid of him, snap crackle pop! Listen, did I send you the link to the pornographic nun site yet? There is just NO LIMIT to what some people will do, darling. And at least the critics are remembering Farrah as a serious actress. It is a burden to be born with amazing hair -- I know! We suffer great jealousies. Great jealousies."
Matron: "Your hair IS terrific, sweetie. I'm sorry that's been so hard."
DSIH: "Beauty! A burden only those suffering can appreciate. . . OH MY GOD that damn phone! I think I'm going to answer "sewage storage site." How fun! Hang on a minute while I get rid of this one lickety split."
Ah yes. A whole new twist to the concept of reception. Love you, darling! Happy Friday to us all!
6 comments:
I'm sorry, but I just have to say that I crack myself up!
Please introduce me to David Sedaris In Hiding. Everyone needs a friend like that.
I read it and could just see it--like in a movie. I would be worried for him that he accidentally says his words to you, to a different caller, like an attorney calling in. You could fake him out like that.
I desperately need a friend like that. Does he know anyone like himself in the Netherlands?
Sounds like he could make a living just by being a friend to all!
You are so freaking lucky.
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