Monday, March 30, 2009

In Which the Matronly Ecosystem Experiences Actual Revolution!

You see, the Matronly ecosystem?   That highly fragile constellation that is the Matron's mind and matter?

May never be the same.

Because those moles living in the basement?

They've moved. 

Into SCARLETT'S BEDROOM!!!

Conveniently discovered at about 10:15 pm last night, when the daughter saw a dark creature 'scurry' across the floor and into her closet.   The actual real vermin existence was confirmed by John, who was in the room wrangling the family's most reliable night owl into bed.  

Now, the real issue is who was more hysterical, the Matron or her theatrical offshoot.  Wait!  You know that phrase -- 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?'.    This describes her household.  So let's just say the daughter gave her mama a run for the money but the Matron's psychological collapse simply had more staying power.

Scarlett is now afraid to even ENTER her bedroom, let alone sleep in it.  The Matron is hesitant, actually, to return home from work -- for all kinds of reasons-- but especially because she lives in a forest!

Sometimes the Matron wishes her life afforded her less blog material.

18 comments:

smalltownmom said...

I have to shriek "eeeeewwww" here! Why aren't those moles out burrowing in the yard like they're supposed to?

racheld said...

AHHHH, the old Asian Curse, "May you live in INTERESTING times."

And interesting you are, my dear, and you tell an excellent tale.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

ACK!

I'm standing on a chair!

If I weren't already on the West coast, I'd be moving farther from Minnesota right now.

Kelly said...

Eek! I don't feel so bad now about the plant that sprouted under my dishwasher.

Heather said...

I'd be a basket case.

kmkat said...

I did a little googling on the habits of the mole.

"A mole's diet is restricted to ground invertebrates such as grubs, millipedes, ants and the like.

"... the mole's primary food source is earthworms...

"Moles have a very high metabolic rate and, therefore, have to consume large amounts of food.

"They mate during February and March, with a single litter of three to five young born later in the spring following a 6 week gestation period.

"... moles don't hibernate (they store neither food nor fat)..."


I'm thinking your best defense may be lots of mousetraps baited with tasty earthworms.

The Gossamer Woman said...

I think it is all very unpleasant and I know those little creatures move fast! They crawl up your pant leg before you know it and you have to undress to get them out. Don't let Scarlett sleep in that room! It's time for traps, Matron. Better consult your local pest control guy. I'm surprised no one has done that yet.

Amy said...

Yuck! I thought our lowly little mice were bad but you win. Hands down.

Miss Grace said...

It would be just like a family of moles to move into Scarlett's room, when she's the one you can't get to bed in the first place!

Inconsiderate creatures...

Minnesota Matron said...

Shrews! That's what they are. We identified them on google imaes (John and Scarlett). Now to eradicate!

Anonymous said...

Since this isn't Dave Barry's blog, I won't add a comment like: an actual taming of a shrew?

E in MN

Sara said...

Would this be an appropriate "parenting moment" wherein you remind Scarlett of the importance of cleaning her room so moles can't move in unnoticed and subsist happily for generations on old crusty rinds of peanut-butter sandwiches? Or would the point be lost on her at the moment....

Merrily Down the Stream said...

YIPES! Who knew? When I was growning up in Minnesota I remember the tiny red spiders in my basement bedroom - ouch. I bet a mole could pack a wallop!

Mayberry Magpie said...

I had a complete breakdown over tiny mice in my pantry. A cat solved that one, though. There's nothing like a cat to keep the mice from playing in the Magpie's pantry.

Will a cat tackle a MOLE?

Would you slap me if I said Holy Moley?

Daisy said...

Call an exterminator, and do it now!!

Sara said...

Yes, a cat will happily tackle a mole or shrew. Unless said cat is a weenie. But usually it just thinks, "ooooh, really BIG tasty rodent beastie-snack!" and goes to work.

thefirecat said...

btw, I don't know why it's been doing that. Obviously "Sara" is me.

JCK said...

That is quite creepy. Quite. But, unfortunately, or fortunately for you...the Matron DOES have excess of delicious blog material.