The Matron has a neighbor who routinely uses the term "hissy fit" whenever her daughters make a fuss. The Matron likes the neighbor but does not much care for the phrase.
But today she considering having one.
Stryker is a middling baseball player. For the past couple of years, his Little League coaches have dutifully rotated the line-up and given each player equal field time. By the end of the season, our guy is usually more solid than not. He learns. These coaches have yelled: "Good eye, Stryker" and "You ca do it!" When he struck out, they slapped him kindly on the back and said that he looked sharp anyway.
This season, when Stryker hasn't cooled his heels on the bench, he's played right field. Exclusively. And when he missed two balls tonight, the coach pulled him aside and sneered: "What? They grease those balls now?"
Maybe he meant to be light-hearted, jovial, cheery in the face of failure?
But that's not how the words fell.
So the Matron would like to stomp her feet and scream at this meanie!
Because she's on the Parkway Little League Board, she would like to talk to her friend--The Board President - and complain. She would like to tell that coach to treat her child better.
She is doing none of the above.
Instead, she is helping her son deal with his disappointment---with his coach and his own performance. Because one day the unfair person? Might be a professor or employer or even, parent.
But now she understands the sensibility of the 'hissy fit' a wee bit better. And knows she is not the type to throw one.
15 comments:
You are a wise woman.
We have never, ever--in a long and intense involvement in youth sports (including, but not limited to: soccer, baseball, volleyball, softball, water polo and cheer--interceded on our chidren's behalf. And we never will.
Is it a coincidence that both our boys were captains of their high school teams this year? I don't think so--we taught them to help themselves and go to the coach themselves if they had an issue.
Good for you, Matron. it must have been hard, but you did the right thing and you will keep doing the right thing, tempting as it is not to.
Cheers for you!
What's that line? There's no crying in baseball? I suspect there's no room for hissy fits, either, but it would be tempting.
I'm glad you're holding back. It's a good lesson to teach.
You are doing the right thing. We all have to deal with things like that in life. Ugh. Organized sports often gives full grown people hissy fits....and by the way I kind of like that term, it is so descriptive.
Organized sports is a brutal socialization ground, but it does have rules of engagement, and fosters teamwork. There's still that "Gonna make a man out of you" mentality, though.
The older they get, the worse the sports leagues get. More competitive, etc. It irks me that, by age 9 or so, it is too late for any kid who isn't super-athletic to start a sport. The teams are already too interested in winning at that point to nurture a slow player.
How is it that some coaches are so freakin' clueless?
So smart. We subscribe to this theory, and try to practice it. You naturally want tp protect your kids, but you're only doing them a big disservice if you do. The best thing you can give your kids is resiliency.
We use the line, "There's no crying in baseball!", too.
Uff, tough to keep your mouth shut in those situations, but I agree, you did the right thing.
Mr. D's a hitting coach, he says "100 times a day hit off a tee" and you'll be a great hitter. Tell Stryker to try it--it really does work.
In my house we say "Pitch a nutty"
It's stuff like that that hurts my heart when it happens to my kids, but I never intercede either. I don't think I'd be doing them any favors by being the rescue mommy.
I admire your restraint...and unfortunately, our kids will have to learn to deal with buttwipes like that coach our entire life...even after we won't be around to fight for them.
I hope you find a soft pillow or a tub of chocolate ice cream upon which to take out your frustrations!
Ack - brutal. I played lots of sports and even had bonehead coaches here and there but my parents stayed out of it. My DDs so little the soccer team is, as she puts it, "mostly about the snacks." I think Heather put it perfectly. Like you, I need to steel myself not to be the rescue mommy. Wise Matron...
The coach has no education and no skills working with children. I feel sorry for the entire team. Whenever someone makes a mistake, that kid flies into a rage or cries. Something is not right there. . .
Nice attitude, Matron...you teach calmness and class by exhibiting calmness and class.
Good for you. So many parents scream their heads off at our local little league games. Talk about hissy fits.
The kid has to learn to deal with assholes and fools.
As long as he isn't SURROUNDED by adults who are all as mean-spirited as this coach, I think Stryker can and must learn to shake off comments like that.
As for me, I grew up surrounded by mean-spirited people, went to parochial schools staffed by the same, and played on teams coached by those same nuns and brothers. I think I was kind of like the Light Brigade trying to charge through with cannons blasting me from all sides. Surviving a few riflemen would have been character-forming for me; cannons blasting me from all sides was too much for a kid to handle well.
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