The American Dream

Ah, July 4.

A time to review history, perhaps? Browse through the constitution, memorize a poem about George Washington or study the first tea party?

No.

It appears July 4 currently constitutes four days of nonstop fireworks, alcohol -- and shopping. Fourth of July sales abound. Indeed, the venerable Matron opened the newspaper this morning to discover that EVERY STORE IN AMERICA was having a sale. And they were all open, all day.

So now you can pound a beer, gobble a brat, light some juice and then spend money! Just don't try that history thing and you'll be fine.

Predictably, the Matron was pooh-poohing this, considering herself above the fray in all its aspects. Now, the fray lives in her very own neighborhood, which is situated on a beautiful bluff high above the Mississippi river. The panoramic view of urban fireworks brings thousands -- thousands -- of revelers to pee on people's front lawns, throw garbage around, light illegal fireworks, drink beer and, finally, watch the city's fireworks.

The Matron smugly stays home.

Yet . . . .

He Who Cannot Be Named (HWCBN): "Mom? I'd like to sell bottled water and juice on the bluff tonight. Bet I make a killing."

And he did. HWCBN took a wagon full of bottled water, juice boxes, change, signage and his little brother to the drunken masses and sold them water. While they sold all their ware, they also got several requests for beer. Which they did not have.

The Matron is still pondering what breed of adults would ask a 15 year old and 8 year old if they were selling alcohol.

Now, shortly before departure, HWCBN got an idea for a second, side money making venture along the bluff. Merrick, adorable as all get out with mish-mashed front teeth (you know that adorable phase where the big ones are half in?) and precious second grade posture, could play the violin! With his case out -- for money.

The kicker? He played "Go Tell Aunt Rhody" with lit sparklers attached to the bow (video on youtube soon).

At the end of the night, their hourly wage beat the Matron's. And her children fit right into the fray: crass commercialism and inappropriate play with fire. She's just doing her patriotic duty as a parent.

Dog Days

Summer in Minnesota!

This was June: Monday, fifty-five degrees. Tuesday? Seventy-five. Then rain. The next day, ninety and humid. The Matron practically pulled out an entire department store in order to clothe her family for the cyclonic shift in temperatures (and temperaments, but that's another story).

Children? More demanding than the weather, mostly because they have been Underfoot.

Here is the Matron, mopping the kitchen floor while creating the week's grocery list and pondering the meaning of life and wondering where the soul goes (if there is one) after death and fretting because she hasn't checked email in a week and wondering if the fifteen students who need attention over the summer really mind waiting another month or maybe (hopefully) they've forgotten those incompletes?

So, she's busy. Of course, 99% of this multi-tasking is in her mind, but still. She' sweating (that floor, after all).

Merrick: "Mom? Have you seen my set of owange dice and the fake fouw leaf clovew?"

Matron: "No. When was the last time you saw them?"

Merrick: "Chwistmas? But now I need them NOW. Can you find them?"

Clearly, this child did not read minds because if he did, he'd notice that his mother was in the midst of FINDING the answer to the meaning of (her) life, had just completed the grocery list and had given up on souls. If that wasn't being busy enough, what about the hands-and-knees mopping dance she was currently doing?

Matron: "They're too tiny. I'm in the middle of mopping."

Merrick: "I need them NOW!"

Matron: " Why don't you put out a magnet and see if they just miraculously toddle out of some corner and head to the magnet?"

Merrick: "Weally?"

Matron: "Really."

And when he zipped off in hot pursuit of a magnet ("Mom? Whewe's the magnets?"), the Matron was acutely aware that parenting dipped to a new low. Multiply this scene times two thousand and there was a week in her life during June.

So she took a nap. For six weeks.

Now that the urge to encourage 8-year-olds to play with matches has dissipated, the Matron is able to clear the foggy brain and return to all things prose and, possibly, better parenting. All three children are still alive and Satan's Familiar continues to terrorize. Something never change and some return, different.

She's back!

Intermission

The Matron is hanging up the blog for a month. She promises to shake out the sheets and put in fresh laundry around June 24th! Check back in!

Merrick's Latest Artistic Endeavor

Yes, the blog has been a bit of a desert-scape as of late. The Matron has been in NEED of many things, including a little respite.

Here is the latest artistic output from Scarlett and Merrick!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq3_Hrsyyt0

One More Year

The Matron met her future husband shortly before his 30th birthday. She had no money but a big heart --and knew this was love instantly.

But, what the then Youngish Miss had was a big tax return coming up: nearly $300. When you're a 28 year old graduate student that's a LOT of money.

And in the mist of romance, guess what she did with most of that money? Let's just say that John scored big time with his birthday, from bathroom towels to a new camera.

And this year? Nearly 20 years later? It's a coffee cup, plants, and a little bit of loving (the latter perhaps the most valuable).

An End, A Beginning

Tomorrow, the Matron wraps up her semester.

Look for eye-popping prose immediately afterward!

Coming Back

Needed the break after nearly 2, 000 posts in five years : -).