Mr. Weenie

Yes, the title of this post should give everyone pause.

Here's the history.

Matron: "Merrick, sweetie, will you grab your sweatshirt so we can go to school."

Merrick: "Don't call me sweetie. I'm too big fow that."

Never mind that someone who can't pronounce 'r' isn't too big for anything except an infant sling.

Matron: "Okay. No more sweetie. Honey, will you get the backpack and sweatshirt?"

Merrick: "Dr. P -- (Matron's real last name). Honey is just as bad. You can't call me honey or sweetie."

Matron: "How about Merrick?"

Merrick: "That's not good either."

This gives the Matron pause, as Merrick is his given name. Everyone calls him Merrick.

Matron: "What do you want to be called."

Merrick: "Mr. Weenie. Not just Weenie but MISTER Weenie."

Here, the Matron decided against against further investigation. Weenie? There are some phallic nuances here.

But this morning, she woke up Mr. Weenie and brought him to school.