Monday, March 21, 2011

Fiction

Matron to John: "OMIGOD! I saw 20 people I knew at the grocery store! It was like a party!"

John: "Twenty? Name them."

This is actually 20 years of marriage speaking, folks, but at the end of the post you won't believe a word.

Matron: "Okay -- Becky, Ned, Ali, Desiree, and Beth."

John: "That's five. Five is not twenty."

Matron: "But it felt like twenty. Can you give me that?"

John: "Yes, because it's you. But five is five, honey. We can both live with that and still celebrate your experience."

Matron: "Did you just say 'celebrate your experience'?

John: "Uh, yes. Unless that means I have to clean the bathroom on the third floor."

Matron: "Can we make a pact? I'm going to err to the side of hyperbole forever and ever. If I see five people, it's twenty. If I have a scratch, it's near-surgery. That's the way I operate and we'll both deal. You can sort out the truth on your own but I need to live my fantasy."

John: "Okay."

And friends? That okay? Made her love him more. Because then he just kissed her on the forehead and moved on.

Guess who saw FIFTY people at the grocery store today?

6 comments:

kcinnova said...

Now I'm trying to do the math...
I live in a small town. It's nearly impossible to not be seen by a familiar face at the store (which also means going in your grubbies or with unwashed hair is a huge mistake).

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

You are a pair!

Suburban Correspondent said...

If 5 feels like 20, then it IS 20. In my book, anyway...

kmkat said...

LOL! What a great marriage!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

This is the best blog post ever!

Anonymous said...

You married well!