Monday, February 14, 2011

Sweet Valentine

Last night, the Matron had a significant psychological meltdown, requiring tea, cookies, late night television and the the cathartic y bowl of salsa and a bag of chips. Friends, you know those nights.

Suffice it to say, she was up late.

National Public Radio (she's liberal that way, even in the pre-dawn hours) blasted her awake at 5 am. She stumbled out of bed to feed the 70 lb blood hound puppy who just turned one and is officially a teenager) and Satan's Familiar, who is rapidly indoctrinating the new dog into all activities evil and vomit-inducing.

After the dogs had their fill and outdoor release, for a few optimistic moments, the Matron sat on the couch and considered being ambulatory. Then reason prevailed and she decided to go back to bed since this was a day in which she wasn't required to be on campus.

Matron to John in the dark: "John? Are you awake?"

This is being volleyed over Merrick, as he comes into the "big bed" every night around 3 am.

John: "Huh? Uh, awake. That's me."

Matron: "Since you're getting up with He Who Cannot be Named (HWCBN) at 6 am, will you wake me up at 7?"

You see, yours truly didn't want turn on a light to set an alarm and rouse the sleeping seven year old who mistakenly thinks the parental bed is his own as soon as the clock hits 3 am. And she was tired.

John: "Okay . . . 7. Got it."

The Matron put her weary head on the pillow and thankfully fell asleep instead of making various mental 'to do' lists. Thanks, late night angst! And she woke up at . . . 8:30.

Frantic Matron to John, who was fresh out of the shower: "Why didn't you wake me up at 7!!"

John: "Was I supposed to?"

Matron: "Since when do I ever -- in the history of humanity -- sleep until 8:30 on a school and work day? Don't you remember our conversation at 5:10, 48 seconds this morning?"

John: "No. And for the record, if you wake me up with requests before 6 am, I will never, ever remember them. Let's just be clear about that. Between midnight and 6 am, you can tell me tales of stripping or wildlife in the backyard, and I will never know these things at 6:05 am. Are we good?"

Good. Sometimes knowing limits is the key to a health marriage. Happy 20 years, honey!


Anonymous said...

Perhaps you could write your message in lipstick on the bathroom mirror?

Minnesota Matron said...

Good idea! John is all about notes. He even said, "leave me a note next time."

Suburban Correspondent said...

We, too, have the 3 AM visitor. A fact which, now that I am menopausal and prone to hot flashes all night, sends me right over the edge - the last thing I need is extra body heat in my bed.

Daisy said...

Notes - sure, lipstick or a sticky note on the mirror would work.