Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Note to the Parents

While cleaning, the Matron found a small notebook; she keeps various notebooks by the telephone in the kitchen for, well, notes. This notebook looked to be from days past, but because the Matron is zealous about tidying (remember she suffers from Incurable Clutter Brain Suck) she's certain the notebook is not entirely dated. But as she was filing away the notebook, the Universe --and probably Oprah and Dr. Phil -- intervened so that the spine fell into this page, clearly written by a child's hand:

"I the undersigned do attest that I have never before parented and insofar as I have no experience for this job I am now liable for my mistakes (turn page). And I agree to pay for any counseling in perpetuity (insert name of child who authored the document-- let's just say this child cannot be referred to on the blog) may require as a result of my parental ineptitude.

Signed ___________________ Mary (mother in question)


___________________ John (father in question)


Whoa. The Matron is not taking on that bill. She needs to start thinking about retirement. Good luck, oh nameless one. And she applauds your visionary stance and careful planning for the future.

8 comments:

kmkat said...

Inform HWCBN that there is a statutory limit on being able to blame one's parents for one's problems. I think that age is 30, but feel free to adjust that when you tell him.

Anonymous said...

Daresay an addendum to the contract is in order. Something along the lines of "Conversely, said (or unsaid in this case) child agrees to kick in for any therapy the parents need as a result of his eptitude (that's the opposite of ineptitude, right?) as our offspring."

Trash said...

Should you ever identify which child constructed that contract may I suggest you wish the very best of luck in ever getting it signed off.

kcinnova said...

Oh, my! Was this left out for your discovery, or an inadvertent mistake? Regardless, Anon's addendum is wonderful.

Susan said...

This is one time when too much education in one so young isn't always a good thing.

What happened to playing hangman in an old note book, or tic-tac-toe for goodness sakes?

MJ said...

Always demand independent legal advice before entering into a contract of this nature; otherwise, it could be voidable and/or unenforceable based upon public policy. Tell that to HWCBN.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to point out that the legal text is lifted from a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip. I recognized it right away because my now 9-year-old daughter went through a major C&H phase a couple of years ago.

Minnesota Matron said...

Anonymous -- That is so funny. For three years in a row, Stryker went trick-or-treating as Calvin. He's memorized ten books. Now I know. Thank goodness this wasn't a graded assignment : -).