Home Schooling 102

Here is the Matron, busily working at home -- at the dining room table, because the Musical Bed situation has rendered her off-the-bedroom office frequently unavailable.

She has been up since 5:30 a.m.

First, sending off HWCBN into the morning darkness at 6:30.

Then dropping off Merrick at school.

Digression! Do readers know Merrick's nickname, once referred to with some regularity on this blog? For origins of said nickname, scroll back even farther to two weeks after his birth.

Matron: "Scarlett, what do you think of your new baby brother? Isn't he beautiful?"

Scarlett ( who is four and a half): "Not really. His head looks like a big chunk of meatloaf."

Matron: "And do you love him?"

Scarlett: "Not yet. I actually half hate him and maybe a quarter love him."

Thus was born the nickname Meatloaf Head. To this date, Merrick is referenced in family calendars and in parental conversations as MLH, the fond acronym for Meatloaf Head.

Back to the present and the narrative. So Meatloaf Head gets to school. Then the Matron drives Scarlett to Minneapolis for her performance--and shuttles home in a major hurry for the one thing she loves best: privacy! Being alone in the house!

Yes, it is better than sex when you're 48 and live with four other people (three of whom need you quite a bit), one sixty pound blood hound puppy and Satan's Familiar. An even better day would be if the dogs escaped.

John (phone call from his office): "Um, Mary? I was thinking of coming home for lunch. Is that okay?"

Matron: "NO. No human contact, nothing -- I just need a couple of hours."

John: "You got it, babe." What a good guy! But let it be known that there is one person in the house who actually thinks sex IS better than solitude so he tries to be nicer than he feels some days.

So here is the Matron, after all this fuss, finally working at the dining room table, enjoying the solitude and peace.

Until . . . .

Beep, beep!

Text message from Scarlett: "Mom what are u doing right now?"

Beep, beep!

Text message from Scarlett: "i am backstage waiting for my scene. can you call a friend for me?"

Text message from Scarlett: "can u call my old school to see if i can visit 2day after the show?"

Text message from the Matron: "Stop texting me! We'll talk when I pick you up."

Text message from Scarlett: "why? what r u doing. this is kind of important."

So it goes. .. the Matron is loath to turn off her cell phone, as there are other children and this is the main route for emergencies. Meaning the child that never goes to school can now conveniently never leave her alone, either (unless she's on some stage).