Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Age of Anxiety

Yesterday and much of today, the Matron diligently attempted to connect to the internet from home. Remember, much of her actual TEACHING (income, health insurance, tenure!) takes place online.

Matron to He Who Cannot Be Named: "Are you downloading stuff?"

HWCBN: "Not really."

Matron: "What does 'not really' mean in the terms of actual internet activity at the moment?"

HWCBN: "Just some videos."

The end to the video download temporarily improved the problem but the Matron still suffered through spotty service.

Today . . . .

Matron to John: "This internet thing is making me crazy. I can't get on!"

John: "Uh, didn't I tell you?"

Matron: "Bring it on."

John: "We're upgrading our wi-fi connection. Things could be spotty for today."

Now, when the Matron thought that any minute she could be back on, she was fine. In her heart, hope really does spring eternal and sometimes without any evidence based in reality. But once she discovered there was no connection -- no access to blogging, to teaching, to email, to life outside of the physical confines of the home?!!

Complete psychological collapse.

She tried reading for tomorrow's lecture. And then attempted the internet.

Dishes. Internet attempt.

Walk the dog . .. briefly, because of that darn internet issue.

Matron: "I am lost!"

HWCBN: "Me too!"

Matron: "I actually try to get wifi from the car at red lights. This is unbearable."

HWCBN: "Who's going to monitor hulu and check on my various accounts, games and financial endeavors?"

Common ground! At last! They almost held hands and hugged, so adrift.

Matron: "Wait a minute. What financial endeavors?"

John: "You two are pathetic. Can't you go one full day without the internet?"

HWCBN: "I'm insulted."

John: "That I think you're unable to go a day without being online??

HWCBN: "Hardly. Insulted that you think such a life circumstance is acceptable."

John: "Mary? Where do you stand on this?"

Actually, the Matron is reinventing the end of that conversation based on John's reporting because she had already left the house: for a coffee shop with internet, where she plans to spend the next seven hours.

It's a good thing she's a communicator and not a shopper. There's really not enough budget in the world. . . . um . . .unless those financial endeavors come to fruition. Hope someone learned his kindergarten lessons about sharing!


Suburban Correspondent said...

We tried surviving a few days while our (one) computer was being repaired. We made it 3 hours, when we broke down and went back to Best Buy to pick up a cheap laptop to get us through.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

I'm with you and HWCBN. There is no such thing as no Internet. Ever. It's not a real thing.

MJ said...

I'll join the mob: I'm an internet junkie

Anonymous said...

Going away on vacation? I can survive without internet.
No internet at home? I am LOST. I pace and fidget. My name is KC and I am an internet addict.

trash said...

Am just trying to remember the last time I went a whole 24 hours without using the innnernets....... Hmmmm ...... Nope. Am jumping on the bandwidth bandwagon with y'all.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

It's so tough to go without these days... (I get annoyed when a page takes a minute to load)

Daisy said...

We've had some issues with our wifi lately and our TV. One is essential to me; the other to the Husband. You can guess which is which!