Thursday, September 2, 2010


Blethic = Blog + Ethic. She should copyright this.

Regular readers know that the Matron rarely misses more than one week day of blog posts, so she's certain that the dearth of commentary on Tuesday and Wednesday was traumatic for all involved--it certainly was for her!

But Tuesday was a big work day, and yesterday?

The Matron had every intention of pithy commentary, perhaps following up Monday's post with more diagnostics. In the end, she was side-tracked by several things.

1. Back to School Frenzy: this involved emergency shopping trips, some hysteria from Scarlett's quarters ("NOBODY IS HELPING ME GET READY FOR SCHOOL AND I'M STARTING JUNIOR HIGH AND I'M NOT TRULY OLD OR MATURE ENOUGH FOR THAT!"). There were several hours of this.

2. HWCBN: decided he needed a family meeting on communication skills. This would involve largely critiquing the Matron's method of conveying information. It turns out that she has multiple flaws. As the teenage years progress, he has promised to document and delineate those flaws in great detail and is decidedly not interested in surveying his own landscape. Thank you, honey.

3. The 55 lb puppy: who is now named BOC (short for Big Old Canine). Here's what Boc destroyed yesterday -- four pens, one shoe, two small stuffed animals, a tube of acne cream, a fork, two library books, one set of head phones, a pillow, three pair of athletic socks, the tea pot (yes, because he is big enough to reach onto the kitchen counter and knock this off in the interest of FOOD), Satan's Familiar's sense of safety and the Matron's sanity. There was also a general attempt at Merrick, who, in Boc's opinion, appears as a giant chew toy. Merrick is unfortunately whole-heartedly supportive of this perspective and offers himself up with abandon.

4. The Weird Al Yankovic concert: a two and a half hour event, preceded by four hours at the Minnesota State Fair.

Matron: "I know school hasn't started yet, but does anyone here remember that I have a full-time job and might not have time to spend six and a half hours at the State Fair, two of which will be spent watching a middle-aged man prance around in funny-colored pantsuits and strange costumes?"

She spent some time considering reasons she absolutely could not go to the concert: migraine? Dog bite? Actual student email or phone call?

John: "It's either the State Fair and Weird Al or nine hours on Friday at Valley Fair. Pick. They want you to go to at least one of them."

Actually, the concert was highly entertaining.

They got home at 11 pm last night.

Matron: "Everyone, right to your rooms. Bed!"

WHCBN: "We need to revisit that communication discussion. I have a few more things to say."


Merrick: "Can I watch some TV when we get home?"

Conveniently, she went to bed at 12:45 only to be awakened by a 3 a.m. thunderstorm that also aroused the other hysteric in the house.

Scarlett: "ARE WE GOING TO DIE?"

And Boc decided 5:00 a.m. was an ideal time to invite the Matron on a play date.

That's why the blog was quiet. And why there are some rather significant craters under her otherwise lovely eyes.


Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Chaos reigns.
I only have one question: does Merrick squeak when BOC chews on him?

Gail said...

From my 30 years past all that, I can laugh. However, my advice: Take a deep breath, blow it out slowly and do it again. This I promise you....this too shall pass.

Anonymous said...

You saw Weird Al in concert!! You lucky dog!! Well, not DOG... that's just a figure of speech...
I do consider you a lucky Matron to have gone to the concert, even if you didn't initially want to go.

We once had a cat named SUC (rhymes with Luke), which was short for "Shut Up Cat."

Oh, and storms? Yep, I've got one today over at my place -- thankfully sans hysterics.

Anonymous said...

1. We saw Weird Al at the Orpheum in Mpls. Great show.
B. "Blethic" sent me to google to find this:
Clearly, great minds think alike.
iii. That storm at 3 am. I was poopin' and pukin' through the whole thing. Wanna trade places?

Anonymous said...

Your life sounds a lot like mine, except it's the Washington Fair or the Washington STATE Fair, and school DID start yesterday. All the mom's I know were so excited for their excited kids, but I was nervous and worried for my nervous and worried kids. Who caused who, I don't know.
And re combining words to copyright new ones, my six year old told me repeatedly last night, "But I don't want to take a shaft!" When I finally stopped moving long enough to question what he meant, I found out that's a SHower bATH (a shower in the bathtub) with a speech impediment.

Daisy said...

Breathe. Breathe. Remember Lamaze? It still works.

Daisy said...

Breathe. Breathe. Remember Lamaze? It still works.

MJ said...

I have managed to avoid fairs, carnivals, etc, anything that requires prolonged standing. My suggestion? Feign having chronic back pain. It can get you out of lots of things!