Thursday, May 6, 2010

Dear Family (Okay, Maybe Just the Husband)

Dear Family,

Here is what the Matron does not need to address on Mother’s Day:

1.Breakfast in bed

2. Cleaning and cooking

3. Saatan’s Familiar

4. FiFighting of any sort (boys, it is actually possible to walk past one another without poking or jostling)

5. The mandatory visits to all other mothers in the family, especially her own.

6. Driving children , anywhere

7. Anything made by Hallmark

8. Her wrinkles

9. The family chore calendar

10. Husband’s belief that any holiday is a good time to for a morning quickie

Instead, your mother would like just this: privacy and a book. Given the simplicity of this desire, it should be do-able for one day. However, in reality, the dog will still be here. There will be pancakes made by children served to her before she has had a chance to pee or brush her teeth. There are still other mothers in the family.

And the male desire for a morning quickie? Never goes out of style . . . .

5 comments:

MJ said...

I'm blushing.

Minnesota Matron said...

Okay - this is copied and pasted and for some reason, the first two letters of every line? Toast. You guess!

*m* said...

The good news is that the letters all show up in Google Reader.

Great list. Good luck with that. Solitary reading time sounds likes a lovely Mother's Day pursuit to me too. Wishing you a happy one.

Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

You need to see the most recent episode of a sitcom called "The Middle" -- it compares Mother's Day to Father's day -- you'll appreciate it. I think it's on ABC..

Anonymous said...

I'm laughing because this is what I want too! And I feel SO thankful that because we live far away from the rest of the family, Mother's Day is ALL MINE! (Bwahahahaha!)