Thursday, January 14, 2010

Comic Relief

Anyone weighed down with events in Haiti?

The Matron cannot shake the tragedy. She feels her life, with all its complexities, impossibly gilded.

Perhaps she was looking for levity but today, this struck her. Merrick had his dear friend Jack over after school. They got into a psychological tussle. Threats were levied. Ominous events foretold. Here's where the Matron got involved.

Jack: "Merrick threatened to kill me!"

Real alarm on the Matron's end and trust her, this has been dealt with.

Matron: "What!!"

Merrick: "But Jack threatened to chop me into a million pieces and I think that's the same as killing."

Jack: "No, that's not. But he said he would KILL ME."

Remember, they are six. The Matron can't quite get a word in edgewise.

Merrick: "Oh my GOSH. But the whole part, the part that is the WORST part, Jack," (and here he starts to cry a little) "is that you said your parents would call 911 -- the POLICE -- if I killed you."

Jack: "If you killed me, my Mom and Dad would totally call 911!"

Merrick: "That is SO MEAN! Mom, can you stop them? I would get in BIG TROUBLE."

Matron: "Merrick. If you actually killed someone -- and you won't - but if you purposely hurt or killed someone your MAMA would call 911. I would call the police, too. That's how it works."

You would have to see the full body reaction. At this point, he deflated like a hot air balloon crashing to earth, complete and permanent defeat settling across his face as his body sunk about four inches lower.

Merrick: "Uh oh. So I can't be a bad guy when I grow up after all?"


That's how deft the current parenting appears to be.


Common Household Mom said...

Excellent comic relief. Please thank Merrick and Jack.

Lippy said...

I have been in such a funk, these tragedies are so overwhelming. Luckily, I also have a 6 year old to keep me entertained.

kcinnova said...

If only all future bad guys had Mamas like you.

Thanks, I needed that.

Middle Aged Woman said...

Small steps, Matron, small steps.

MidLifeMama said...

That is perfect.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Ah, gotta love boys and bad guys.

kmkat said...

Perhaps this was the hindrance to his reading, planning to be a bad guy and knowing that bad guys do not read books. Now that you have set him straight on that bad guy ambition his reading skills may soar.

Suburban Correspondent said...

Where does a dream go when it dies?

And does its mother call 911?

FlourGirl said...


jenn said...

Thanks for the smile. The situation is Haiti has been consuming me.