Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Know Thy Limits

Matron to John: "What would you think about me leading a team of college students to New Orleans to build houses for Habitat for Humanity? Our school is doing this in May and we need two more faculty members. We drive down in a big bus, sleep in a pile and work for six days. I think I should to this."

Here, John doubles over, pretending oh not so effectively that his laughing jag is a sudden tickle in delicate throat.

Matron: "What? What?"

John: "Benefit of doubt. I need more information."

Matron: "Okay, here are the job qualifications, from the email. Matronly call and John response."

  • Sense of humor (John: check)
  • Skilled construction labor (are you drunk at noon?)
  • Ability to live, eat, sleep, work in cramped quarters with no privacy or control? (This will send you to an institution)
  • Ability to entertain students during vast expanses of driving (Will you be allowed to read while entertaining?)
  • Flexible and adaptable, able to suspend own needs (This means no computer, honey)
  • Generally Sainted Demeanor while living in a tent and serving others (If there was no tent involved, maybe).
Matron: "OMIGOD. Driving in a bus with 200 students, living in a tent and eating (gasp) ham sandwiches while hammering nails and otherwise flirting with LABOR might not be ME!?"

John: "Darling, you can make the world better in a hundred different ways. Just not this one. Go organize something. Circulate that petition. Spearhead the campaign. But don't hop on a bus for eight days of communal living and hard labor. For everyone else's sake. Please."

Okay then.




racheld said...

Altruistic to your bones, you are. Better part of valor, you chose.

Brave to tell it---I'll say!

Anonymous said...

Once again, The Husband proves that he may know us better than we know ourselves. It is good to have that reality check so close by...

MJ said...

Oh, I almost wish he had stiffled the chuckle, nodded with a straight face that it was a brilliant idea! The stories we would have had!

MidLifeMama said...

Everyone needs a John in their lives. Thank Buddah you found yours. New Orleans survived Katrina, I am not sure it would survive that scenario.

And it NEVER would have occured to me to consider that gig myself. I barely tolerated girl scout camp or living in dorms in college.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

You married well, Matron. He steers you in the right direction.
And I say this in love, going on day 2 with no shower thanks to the sewage debacle.

jenn said...

That's some stellar husband-ing right there! These things always sound like such a good idea, but lose their charm upon execution. :)

Susan said...

I completly understand. When we did the Avon walk, my sister and I stayed at a hotel. No tent or communal showers for us...we figured the money we raised and the blister on our feet were enough.