Local readers: supposedly, the Matron's daughter is plastered on some billboard on highway 36, she guesses in the Maplewood vicinity.
Locate said billboard and earn nothing but the Matron's undying love, as Scarlett wants nothing more than to drive past her visage, 30 feet large. The Matron, who drives this child to the ends of the earth and back, has flatly refused to go out searching.
Grandma Sophie, are you reading this? You're not that far!?
Scarlett: "MOM? When will my commercial air and why don't I have a sitcom?"
Lord help them all.