Sunday, October 25, 2009

Actual Conversation

Last night, the Matron was snuggled into her LEAST favorite seat in the van: front passenger. John was driving and the whole family headed toward that Minnesota version of fine dining, the potluck party at a friend's house.

The Matron, who has just a few tiny issues regarding CONTROL, could not help but notice that her husband's foot felt, well, a tad bit heavy on that gas pedal. Indeed, she could not help but notice that the vehicle transporting her very fine self was going well over the speed limit.

Matron: "John! Did you know the speed limit is 30 here! You're going fast and there's a police car up ahead!"

Immediate decrease in speed and increase in anxiety.

John: "Where? Where? I don't see any police car?"

Matron: "Well, there isn't one."

John: "You lied! You just lied to me!"

Matron: "I did not!!"

John: "You lied!"

Matron: "Actually, no."

John: "Then what do you call what you just did?"

Matron: "I simply added a sentence for dramatic emphasis. That's not lying."

Scarlett: "I'm soaking this all in, mother."

6 comments:

Buckarooandco said...

Pissed off taxi mom going 40 in a 30 MPH zone.

Cop on road with speed gun.

Cop behind pissed off mom with lights on.

Even MORE pissed off mom with $225 speeding ticket.

Irritated pissed off mom going to court to see if she can get the cost reduced.

Happy mom to be not paying $255.

Unappy mom who pays $100, instead.

Great program that says if I have no 'same or similar' will not be on my driving record so my insurance will not go up: Priceless.

Suburban Correspondent said...

My least favorite seat, also...you must take up knitting. You can't watch the road and dream up catastrophic scenarios if you are busy counting stitches.

MJ said...

What a week you've had! Little pitchers have big ears in Minnesota too?!

Karen ~ said...

Oooh, I have to remember that one.

Anonymous said...

Technically, there ought to be a police car up ahead somewhere. Just a question of how far.

Daisy said...

dramatic emphasis? snicker.