Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Shaking in the Corner
That would be the Matron. Because today? She is on Day One of a three week 'cleansing diet' (okay, she knows there's debate about that but she needed a title in order facilitate Change) that is vegan, with these niceties tossed in:
No more of this!
Or, sigh, this:
Why in the world would she endure such deprivation? Torture? Friends, the Matron is embarrassed to admit this (okay, not so much otherwise she wouldn't be blogging about it, would she?) but, at any given moment, one of those three chemicals stream through the Matronly blood -- at all times! She is never not without alcohol OR caffeine OR sugar. Indeed, just seeing those words lined up together makes her thing those would be very fine ingredients in pie!
Wine, caffeine, and sugar are interchangeable mood-altering substances and she's slipped into one big altered Mood.
So it's plenty of this instead:
And because she is as neurotic and obsessive, as all get out, plenty of these, too!
Six hours in, it is SHOCKING to the Matron to notice how many times she has thought about chocolate. The caffeine hasn't really hit her, but the sugar? Ouch. Suckah punch. Who knew that was the stronger chemical.
The Matron does not recommend you try this at home. It is dangerous! Thankfully, John and one of the Matron's dearest friends (hi Esti!) are also eating bark for the next 21 days. She'll be sure to tell you all about it!
Time for some dandelion greens . . . .