Friday, February 6, 2009

How She Spends Her Time

Here sits Satan's Familiar, cloven paw and all.

He woke up the Matron at 6 am as he made his way out from under the covers, where he conveniently sleeps.

Later, after eating a bowl of Captain Crunch (before you ask - not only is he capable of getting on the kitchen table it is his daily routine) the evil one deemed the 30 degree day tepid enough for a romp around the back yard.

Now, the Matron didn't get all hopeful that he would poop out there instead of in Scarlett's bedroom. But neither did she consider that the Siren Song was in play --the sweet smell of somebody else's garbage.

The Matron has mentioned that her office is sits high in the house--a cozy little porch off of the master bedroom. See that window? Perfect view of the backyard and alley.

So she was able to clearly see that damn dog CLIMB THE WIRE FENCE and happily trot across the alley so he could begin the process of knocking over a garbage can. Now, because the Matron's house is high on a hill and there is all that clever-anti-dog wire fencing to navigate, it is impossible for the Matron to simply walk out the door and stop the creature.

No, she must put on coat and boots, go out the front door, down the block and around the alley, giving him plenty of time to knock over the can and get in a good meal.

And when he saw her coming? He turned around and ran.

Oh well. She tried, didn't she?

(he finally came home - sigh)


Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I think it's that dog that's preventing you from writing the Great American Novel. Who could concentrate when this type of thing could happen at any moment?

kmkat said...

He climbed the fence? Next time, get video. He could be the new Lassie/Old Yeller/Ol' Cloven Paw, the Wonder Dog.

fireweedroots said...

I'm with Jenn on this - with that dog in the house you'll never write the Great American Novel - and more importantly, I won't be able to have known you BEFORE you wrote it! Imagine how that would give me "cred" with any serious newspaper in my home country!!!

Jennifer said...

That is the funniest thing I have read all day. Really. It's funny.
Because it's not my damn dog.
You should just write a book about the damn dog ;-)

smalltownmom said...

I have a cat. They're so much easier.

witchypoo said...

The video of SF fetching the mail should be submitted to America's Funniest Home Videos.

Daisy said...

Snort. I love the dog already. As much of a pain as he is, this animal is very, very entertaining.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

You had me at cloven paw.

The Finely Tuned Woman said...

Write a book about the darn dog and make a fortune. With your deadly sense of humor, it will be a bestseller.

MJ said...

You need to practice hurdling wire fences. It is good exercise, albeit it can be hurt ~ prudence is always necessary.

JCK said...

Ah...some of my favorites. Your stories of Satan's familiar.