Sunday, February 1, 2009

Actual Conversation -- with Husband

While John was dealing with dinner on the home front and the Matron, driving and on the cell phone . . .

John: "I'm making Scarlett a carrot salad, yogurt and scrambled eggs for dinner before her show."

Matron: "Perfect! All that child has eaten in the past three days has been carbohydrates, so it's good to steer clear of simple carbs for once."

John: "Oh. Then I won't give her the carrot salad."

Matron: "What! Carrots are a vegetable. They might be high on the glycemic scale, but carrots are still a vegetable. She should absolutely have carrots."

John: "Oh. Then I won't give her the eggs."

Matron: "Eggs are a protein."

John: "Really? Are you sure?"

Matron: "Positive."

John: "Then out goes the yogurt, right?"

Matron: "Why? Yogurt is a dairy product."

John: "What should I not give her then?"

Matron: "I can't take this any longer. I have to hang up now."

And she did.


Daisy said...

Men. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Scary, isn't it?

Years ago, I asked my then-35-year-old brother (who was visiting), to chop up the celery on the counter. We had some finely diced asparagus for dinner.

My husband thinks hotdogs are a perfectly healthy protein source.

Heather said...

I'm comforted to know it's not just my husband.

Thomas said...

You should share some of your recipes with us Matron.


thefirecat said...

See, now I NEVER had problems like this with my husband.

I married a professional chef. My problem was getting him to go to the store for a carton of milk and NOT come home with $400 worth of groceries for one meal.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

My husband has a BSEE, an MBA, and a JD. Today I taught him how to use an electric can opener.

witchypoo said...

I think the husband may be a tiny bit afraid of The Matron.

The Finely Tuned Woman said...

He has a very illogical mind, either that or he is too smart for his own good and tries to out reason himself.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

He is funny!
I'm just happy when my kids EAT--nitrates, glucose, carbs, whatever. Perhaps I should never consider it and it may even out?

distracted by shiny objects said...

I'm impressed he was cooking for her. My hubby sneaks out to the store and feeds HoneyHaired Grrrl spam on crackers. That apple didn't fall far though--she thinks White Castles' "sliders" contain all the four food groups.

Kimberly said...

I am so grateful to know my husband is not the only nutritionally challenged father out there!

Julie said...'s an interesting food combination to begin with!

Anonymous said...

Your husband seems like quite an amazing person to be making such a special meal for the little princess. Better keep this guy, just get a food pyramid poster for all to see in the kitchen.