Thursday, January 29, 2009


The Matron is sort of a Burt's Bees kinda girl, and by extension, so is the family.

After school today, the Matron noticed -- sort of out of the corner of her eye and in the midst of a frenetic Thursday shuffle -- Merrick diligently applying balm to lovely lip. He had the stash in his pocket and seemed to take particular joy in Application.

Belatedly, through the fog that is "Essays are Due this Week and America is Illiterate," the Matron noticed that Merrick was pulling this from his pocket:





The Matron hasn't purchased one of these since Oprah warned of its dangers. Really.

The following dialogue ensued.

Matron: "Merrick? Did I give you that lip balm?"

Merrick: "No."

Matron: "Where did you get that?"

Merrick (taking said item from pocket and applying liberal swipe across lips): "I found it on the pwaygwound. In the snow."

So much for washing your hands after you pee.

17 comments:

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Noooo!

sh8un said...

May be it was on the playground just for 5 seconds. Doesn't the 5 second rule apply here?

smalltownmom said...

But...your picture is of a flash drive... If he wiped the flash drive on his lips, I would seriously worry.

The chapstick...not so much. It's so tingly, it just HAS to kill germs, doesn't it????

kmkat said...

He swiped a flash drive across his lips. I think you have bigger worries than germs, dear ;-)

JCK said...

I'm not sure which is worse. Flash drive swiped across lips or germs...

Ulrike said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ulrike said...

Minnesota Matron, you are wonderful. Love all your posts. And I love your Cinderella Story. I can so relate. Happen to be a bit of a Burt's Bees fan also. Best wishes.

Fairlie said...

Eeeeewww. What else can one say?

Lynda said...

Oh, I love Burt's Bees, too. Now that used Chapstick would really wig me out!

bunnyslippers said...

The bad news is that he won't grow out of it, either. DH (age:36) was applying blue raspberry flavoured 'lip-smackers' from his pocket one day at home when he confided in me, "I wore this for days before I noticed there was glitter in it. Please don't buy me lip balm with glitter again." And why would I buy him lip balm with glitter at all?

I laughed until I cried. It's especially funny because he can be really prissy about things that may be perceived as being dirty. For example, he won't drink from a water glass that came out of *our* dishwasher with a crumb on the outside.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Ha! That is SO funny because MY sons would all do the EXACT SAME thing.

Julie said...

I'm torn between "Ewwwww" and "Hahahahaha" after reading this!

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Dangers? What dangers?

Daisy said...

AAAAARGH!!!

Heather said...

Oh ick!

I love Burt's Bees too.

distracted by shiny objects said...

I applaud his recycling ethos:>)

another Mary said...

This is so funny - I use Burt's Bees too - but, I need to know what Oprah said about Chapstick so I can steer my kids away from it (not just on the playground - but purchasing it).